


The Illustrator, The Author, The Artist & The Poet

by acrazyworldofdreams



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: After Party, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, Art Auction, BL, Book Launch Party, Boys In Love, Falling In Love, Fashion & Couture, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Illustrator, Lost Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nana the artist, Poems, Poet - Freeform, Polyamory, Renjun/Yukhei mentioned, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Summer Camp, Tumblr Blog, Writer, artist, markhyuck mentioned, nana - Freeform, soulmark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2019-07-08 19:51:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrazyworldofdreams/pseuds/acrazyworldofdreams
Summary: When you fall in love with your soulmate, their next words to you will be the words written on your body since birth.Donghyuck illustrates the magical world of seven boys, living vicariously through the author who builds up such a beautiful world because he’s long given up on his own soulmate.Renjun hides behind his own words, because his soulmates words on his arm are painful to read. Instead he looks for comfort in the colours on the canvas from his favourite artist.Jaemin paints his loneliness onto the canvas because he doesn’t know how else to express it. His only saving grace is the poet, who inspires him to wait for love.Jeno writes poems which mean nothing to him. They talk of love, and happiness, but he’s never loved anyone, except perhaps the one boy who saw behind his words all those years ago.Four men discover they are more connected than they ever could have imagined.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silentterror](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentterror/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Between the lines](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13391622) by [Meggs13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meggs13/pseuds/Meggs13). 



> This new fic is entirely dedicated to the awesome Silenterror - a new friend who is accepts me for exactly who I am. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it :)
> 
> Only part of this story is inspired by the one I've tagged, but it's enough to mention :) 
> 
> Also a little bit inspired by Fangirl/Carry On series by Rainbow Rowell. If you haven't read them - put this down & read them immediately. The more you read of mine the more you'll understand why it's inspired by it.

### Donghyuck

Everyone has words written on their bodies somewhere.

The first words your Soulmate will say to you, but there’s a catch, they’ll only say them to you once you’ve fallen for them. It’s the perfect balance between finding your ideal match but also having to get to know someone deeply enough to feel something. A lot of people end up dating multiple people before they ever meet their soulmate, simply because people spend a lot of time getting to know one another and humans are emotional people.

You might ask why have soulmates if you still have to fall in love with the wrong people. Maybe it’s because you need to have something to compare your soulmate to. Maybe it’s so you can learn how to love them properly. He doesn’t know anyway, no one does. Donghyuck’s almost given up hope.

In total he’s had one almost boyfriend and one long term boyfriend. A boy in his youth called Jeno and boy in his late teens, who goes by the name of Mark. Jeno had never really become anything serious. They had a spark, which he’s never been able to forget. His other relationship had been different, Donghyuck believing Mark to be his Soulmate, until one day Mark had turned up at his college room dorm apologising before he could even say hello. Turned out Mark had developed feelings for a boy named Lee Taeyong from his English class. Apparently, Mark had never told Donghyuck this, but the first words his Soulmate would say to him had always been; _‘Wait, aren’t you dating the red-haired boy?’_

Feelings of hurt and betrayal had taken over him, mainly because of the fact Mark must have known all the time they were dating that Donghyuck wasn’t going to be his soulmate. Mark explained his actions in the end, once Donghyuck had calmed down enough to hear him out; that he’d never intended to date Donghyuck because of the words, but once he’d met him he’d been unable to stay away. Like fate already knew Mark needed Donghyuck in his life for that period of time and in all fairness Donghyuck had learnt a lot from Mark too.

Like learning to love himself more, to embrace all the parts of himself. To start singing again, and to not let people walk all over him. He’d been let down so much in his life that he’d forgotten how to be loved properly. Mark had done that, even if he now loved someone else. In fact, Donghyuck had been at Mark’s and Taeyong’s engagement party at the end of last year. It now felt like Mark hadn’t been destined to be Donghyuck’s soulmate, instead a his best friend. So the two had stayed friends, which was great but now at 26 Donghyuck was getting sick of waiting for his soulmate.

Thinking about the words which ran up his right calf he wondered in what situation the words, **_“_** _I’m sorry. I love someone else.”_ would come up. It’s seems pretty horrible, that Donghyuck would have a Soulmate that would be in love with someone else when they meet. How would that even work? Would they fall in love with Donghyuck at all? Or would he be destined to love someone from afar. It made Donghyuck feel broken, that he can’t even get being a soulmate right.

Mark assures him that it’s not the case when he catches Donghyuck looking at his mark one Friday evening. They still spend a lot of time together. Donghyuck thinks it’s because Mark feels guilty for not being his soulmate. Taeyong doesn’t seem to mind too much though. He’s not very possessive and is long resigned to sharing his Soulmate with Donghyuck. Possibly he also feels guilty for stealing Donghyuck’s boyfriend all those years ago.

_‘Stop looking at that. You’re going to develop a crick in your neck and maybe go blind. It’s no different from what it was twenty years ago or yesterday and it will be the same tomorrow. I think you need to get out more. You don’t meet anyone new anymore. How are you going to meet your soulmate if you’re just stuck inside drawing all the time. I know art is your life, but why not go and do some singing again. You used to do that all the time before you got all hermit like.’_

It’s a long speech for Mark, which means he must be worried about Donghyuck. A little exaggerated though, he doesn’t spend all his time inside. Sometimes he ventures to the office to discuss his work with the editor for the book he illustrates for. He’s been doing the illustrations for the same series for over six years now. Donghyuck enjoys his meetings with Chenle. He’s fun and doesn’t take things too seriously, his laid-back attitude makes Donghyuck want to do a good job for him.

These books are his longest standing project, and in all honesty, they’re his favourite too. Donghyuck’s never met the author of the series, which is about a coven of seven male witches who use earth magic to save the world time and time again.

Apparently, the author wanted to bring the world to life in a more detailed way, so Donghyuck was commissioned to draw each of the boys and then to bring the magic to life. Every book which came out challenged him more and more, especially as the characters aged and started to fall in love. Some with each other, others with non-magical beings. One had even fallen for a werewolf. By the fourth book the author had become a bit OCD about only working with Donghyuck, which had caused a slight delay on publication because Donghyuck had been unwell for a month or two. His brain sometimes hurt him too much. The upside was learning someone appreciated his talent above anything else, which gave him something to live for whilst waiting for his Soulmate to turn up.

As for the rest of Mark’s words, well they were kind of true. From about aged 20 to 25 Donghyuck had gone out into the world like everyone else with an open heart and a lot of optimism but as his work colleagues and his siblings all met their soulmate he’d started to feel more and more jaded about the whole thing, which of course had led to thoughts about being a broken soulmate. It wasn’t like his Soulmate was going to love him anyway, so why waste time falling in love with someone.

He finally replies to Mark’s accusations. _‘Bullshit, I’m going to that dinner my publishing company is hosting this weekend. All the authors, illustrators, editorial teams are invited.’_ Donghyuck wasn’t but he guesses he is now. Mark’s always had an ability to pinpoint something Donghyuck is doing wrong in his life and point it out specially, making Donghyuck have to do something about it. Getting out would probably do him good.

 _‘I hope your favourite author is there too, and you finally get to meet the one you worship so much.’_ Marks’ on to teasing him now.

He doesn’t talk about the author that much. Does he?

 _‘Oh shut up. I’m going out okay, but tomorrow I have to finish the drawings for the 8 th book. Apparently, there will be 9 books in total. I’m not sure what I’ll do when he finishes them.’_ Donghyuck admits truthfully, it’s been worrying him for a while now. Because he’s not sure what he’s got without them. They give him more meaning to his life than he would ever tell Mark. He prays the author will just start another award-winning series of books and will want his artwork for them too.

It’s a long shot but he has all his hopes on it.

 

### Renjun

There’s only one book left, but Renjun doesn’t know how to finish the story which has consumed his entire 20’s so far. When he started the series in College, he’d had no idea how popular they would become.

The words on his arm have haunted him his entire life, _“I can’t accept your feelings. I’m sorry Injunnie”._ And it’s not that his Soulmate won’t love him, but they will be close enough that they will call him by the nickname only close people refer to him as and that hurts. They will be close, and he will be able to do nothing to change that because it could be anybody. He could fall in love with anyone.

It’s the main reason he’s pulled himself away from the real world. Easier to throw himself into a world where he writes the rules, and no-one can pull the rug out from under his feet. In his stories, his characters don’t have to feel the pain of waiting to love to fall in love with someone who won’t love them back. His boys are all part of him. Well their personalities are. Renjun would be lying if he didn’t admit his illustrator’s works of art haven’t influenced the development of the boys. Renjun loved Donghyuck’s work from the first moment he saw his coven as a whole, he knew this man would be with him for the whole series.

Art was the other passion in Renjun’s life outside of writing. His favourite artist only went by the name of Nana, but he was the whole reason Renjun’s series, The Last Coven, had artwork in it. Early on Renjun had come to realise that words could only tell so much of any story. Nana’s work always elicited the deepest emotions in Renjun. He was a bit obsessed. Renjun tried to make it to every show, and even had one of his early pieces on his wall. He wondered whether you could fall in love with someone through their creative works, because he’d only ever caught glimpses of Nana, who only appeared hooded and masked at his events. Renjun thinks he may have met him once a long time ago. He can’t be sure, but he does reckon he could recognise his voice anywhere.

When his novel had been first accepted for publication, he’d requested artwork to go in it. His editor Chenle had agreed easily, claiming it was unique and in publishing unique was everything. Renjun had tried not to lead the artwork too much. Hoping the page of ideas and thoughts he’d supplied for each boy to the illustrator would help them come to life on the page in a way more beautiful than Renjun could ever have dreamt up. Donghyuck had delivered above and beyond Renjun’s wildest imagination and now eight books later, they were a team. One that had never met, but a team still. Renjun wondered what life would be like after the series was over, and his work life would change for good.

Renjun’s phone buzzed snapping him out his thoughts. Only two people messaged him on a regular basis, one being Chenle and the other Yukei. Both were almost the extreme opposite in terms of personality to Renjun, who much preferred to keep to himself, mostly for reasons previously mentioned but people and large groups tended to wear him out quickly.

His publishing company had always respected his need for privacy and he’d managed to maintain his secret identity. Chenle, the one who was messaging him right now, was his voice basically outside the words on the page. He managed all the public relations stuff, which didn’t mean to say Renjun didn’t interact with his fans, he just didn’t do it in person. He had his own Tumblr page, plus a Pinterest and Instagram account where he shared the things he was doing and working on. He made sure never to tag or give away anything that might help people track him down. Privacy was the most important thing to him.

_“Yo, so the bosses want to see you tonight. You can come incognito as usual, but they want to see you. To talk about after The Coven.”_

Chenle always delivers up the bad news straight up. Renjun hates having to meet the bosses, but they only ask once a year, often around the time of the annual party for all the creative divisions. It’s the perfect spot really to meet them. They’re all gathered in one place, and he can attend as a non-important guest and go undetected. Nobody knows his face anyway, plus Chenle avoids making contact, so no-one would even think to make the connection between the two.

The other friend Yukei has nothing to do with his job. He’s a friend from childhood, who just never left his life. At one-point Renjun was in love with Yukei, maybe it was because he was his first kiss. They shared so many firsts together, just not enough to be a Soulmate it seems. Yukei was the only one Renjun’s ever let fully past his walls to get that deep into his heart, most of the time he thinks it’s because he didn’t really have a choice. He was just always there. Never letting Renjun have a chance to reject him. Without him, Renjun would probably just sink into oblivion or the world of the Wiccan.

His relationship with Yukei was actually the inspiration behind the main couple in The Last Coven series. He figured if Yukei couldn’t love him in the real word, Lucas would love Jun in his imaginary one. Thankfully Yukei had never noticed the parallel. He hopes he never does. Of course, Nana was also in his books as the infamous Nate. The untouchable, bad boy who no-one could understand but inside was bursting full of emotions he couldn’t translate to words coming out of his mouth. The others inspired by people, events and dreams.

Renjun started writing the books the day he realised Yukei could never love him the way Renjun did, which happened mid-way through first year of college, when Yukhei brought home his newly met Soulmate Jungwoo. Instead he turned to his writing to cope with the crushing pain, never opening himself up to fall in love again because it was safer that way. He didn’t know whether Yukei’s non-rejection was more painful than the rejection he will get one day in the future from his Soulmate, but if it’s anywhere near, then he doesn’t want it. The world is too painful. It's why he puts his own characters through so much but in the end still gives them a happy ending, because he hopes despite of everything in the end he will get one too.

 _“Yes I’ll be there. Just text me the details when I arrive. I’ll be there by 7.30 okay.”_ Sparing a few hours for the people who gave him his start in writing is the least he can do, well that’s what he forces himself to think.  Who knows maybe he’ll meet his Soulmate at the party? What are the chances of that, 1 to a million maybe give or take a few.

Chenle fires a message back confirming his attendance and asks him to wear a jacket and tie combo with a twist. What the hell does that even mean? Renjun realises he’s probably going to have to dive into his other wardrobe. The one with the clothes Yukei always forces him to buy. Claiming all Renjun’s clothes are slouchy, house clothes. He always counters that’s where he spends most of his time, but it always falls on deaf ears.

Upon inspection Renjun realises the blue textured suit jacket, and silver tie they purchased last time is perfect for this. He sends a silent thanks to Yukhei and starts to prepare for the evening. If he doesn’t start now, he knows he’ll get sucked back into the chapter he’s writing right now. The one where Jun is about to sacrifice himself to save Lucas, and accidentally confesses to him and Lucas is going to confess back.

It’s going to shock the entire fanbase, who’ve been pairing Lucas with Will for most of the series because that’s how he wrote it. Will and Lucas are together in the real world after all, but he wants this one final twist. That Lucas has loved Jun all along, not Will. It’s his own secret confession to Yukei. He hopes he doesn’t figure it out, but Renjun’s also sick of hiding it too.

Showered, groomed and feeling as good as he’s going to. Renjun heads out to the party, where the future of his writing career lies in the hands of bunch of people he can barely stand to talk to. At least he can text Chenle in secret and make fun of all the other attendees clothes, because sometimes being mean is the only way to get through.

 

### Jaemin

It’s all wrong. All his brushstrokes are wrong. He can never get them to really portray what he’s feeling because to Jaemin that’s what his art is all about. It’s his way of getting all the messy everything he feels out of his head onto the canvas. Because trying to keep it inside would drive him insane.

He feels too much, that’s what he’s been told his whole life. Well never that directly, but his therapist suggested he could try to be less dramatic about certain things, which is basically the same thing. Jaemin has a lot of friends, so he can share his crazy amongst them. He doesn’t want to burden any of them too much with all the things he feels and thinks. It’s why art is such a big part of his life, because even his sharing tactic probably wouldn’t be enough. Jaemin has always needed a lot of people in his life.

The words on his wrist haunt his dreams, _“All my words are lies.”._ Jaemin has no idea what it means. Does it mean Jaemin will fall in love with them, but they won’t fall in love with him? He’s heard of Soulmates not loving their Soulmate in return, or they have to wait a long time in between one falling in love with the other. But a liar for a Soulmate. It feels wrong.

His fear of lies has kept from him revealing who he really is to the world. When his artwork started selling, a few pieces here and there, he simply sold them under the name Nana. A nickname his mother gave him when he was young before she passed away. But over time the more famous he became the less he showed his face. Some of his really early fans know his face, but there are so few of them that he reckons he’s safe. They all know he wants to show his self through his art, not his pretty face.

Nana has become an international renowned artist, but Jaemin has remained just a fun guy, who had lots of friends, who don’t really know who he is, because he doesn’t let anyone close enough to try. The closest he’s ever come to harbouring feelings for someone isn’t someone he’s met in real life.

Jaemin’s in love with a poet. He’s not even a really well-known poet, fairly underground but gathering recognition for his works about love and Soulmates. Everyone who reads J.Lee’s work comes away looking forward to the day they meet their own soulmate. His words leap off the page and fill you with joy. It’s in the way he compares falling in love to your feet sinking into the sand on the beach as you walk along. Every step you sink into it, but it’s cushioned, soft and it tickles. Like love.

Jaemin would do anything to talk to J.Lee to find out more about what it feels like to be with your Soulmate. To hear his poems from the writer’s mouth would solve so many of Jaemin’s problems. It would give him hope that one day he will meet his Soulmate and he won’t be disappointed.

Tonight Nana has to attend an event. It’s not like his usual ones, which is why he’s going incognito. Nobody knows he’ll be there, so he can wander in and just say he’s a freelance illustrator. Well that’s what his new editor Chenle said he could do. If he goes in with mouth covered etc like usual, he’ll be recognised instantly.

The party is being hosted by Dream Publishing Company. It’s for all their team, and talent to come together apparently, and as Nana just signed a 2-book deal with them, Jaemin has to go. He wasn’t going to do the book project, but his friend Doyoung encourage him to. As another fellow artist, Jaemin has always respected his opinion, especially because Doyoung was the only one who knew Jaemin was Nana too.

The convincing conversation hadn’t been very complicated, Doyoung had argued the exposure would be great for Nana and then Jaemin could work on some commissions without the pressure of having to sell a lot of paintings. Something which appealed greatly to him. Once you found success with a particular style, it was hard to get off that path. Jaemin needed a change, so he’d accepted the book offers but that came with new commitments. Hence the party tonight. Thankfully Doyoung was going to come with him. He wasn’t a famous face, yet, so it wouldn’t be telling either.

Jaemin just had to get through tonight, and then he could return to unrecognizable oblivion.

 

### Jeno

Tonight’s the night things could change but he doesn’t want to put too much into it, especially because all his work is lies. Jeno knows he wouldn’t know what love was if it hit him in the face. He’s a fraud, and he’s just waiting for someone to realise and tell the world J. Lee is a liar. He blames Yuta really. It’s all his fault that he started to get recognition for his poems. Before he’d just been posting them on his Tumblr under the name J. Lee. In the beginning he’d get a few likes and some reblogs, but after one particularly beautiful piece, which had been inspired by the boy who got away, his account had gone viral a bit.

After that his poems started to get a few thousand likes and a lot of reblogs each time. His friend Yuta had shown his work to a friend, a guy named Chenle from Dream Publishing, who apparently liked it. So tonight Jeno was going to their annual party to meet people who might or might not be interested in his work.

He complains to Yuta for about the 100th time, _“How could you drop me in it like this? They’re going to find out I’m a fraud. Find out that I’ve never been in love, that I don’t know my Soulmate.”_ One of his biggest fears is being discovered that although he writes poems about falling in love, and finding the perfect person, he’s never actually done it himself.

In fact he’s never even been in a relationship. There’s a reason though. It’s a bit pathetic, but his parents were each other’s first loves and then Soulmates. Growing up Jeno lived in a fairy-tale, where his parents only ever loved each other. His father showering his mother with love every day when he came home from work, and his mother leaving little love notes in his father’s lunch. They had the perfect relationship, and Jeno wants that too, but he’s afraid to fail. Afraid to fall in love with someone who isn’t his Soulmate.

There’s also an urban legend he holds onto that the first moment you meet your Soulmate you feel the tiniest of sparks, which is the spark of your love which will grow over time. Jeno is a believer because he’s felt it, but not many do, otherwise everyone would believe it. You have to be completely focused in on the moment, otherwise it’s gone before you can feel it. When Jeno was 14 years old at camp, there was a boy with bright ruddy brown hair, with the beautiful green eyes and the laugh of an angel. They’d spent one week together, which had been amazing before Haechan had had to go home early due to illness.

But Jeno knows he felt the spark, he knows it. Especially because when Haechan left it felt like a light inside his chest had burnt out. Over the years he tried to find him, but with no luck. It was like Haechan was a ghost, and the camp had refused to give out contact details and now too much time had passed. So Jeno lives a life dreaming about the love he lost, but never really had in the first place.

Work is utterly boring. To support his career as a fledgling poet, he works in a coffee shop. It’s not the most challenging of places to work, but he does get to view a lot of special moments between Soulmates. For some reason there is something about realising you love someone in a coffee shop. It’s weird how often it happens. Jeno uses the private moments he witnesses to create his works. That’s mostly how he gets away with writing about something he has no experience of, he steals.

Yuta says it’s not stealing when you’re an artist. It’s your job to observe the world around and channel it into something beautiful, which is what Jeno does. Yuta is one of his top fans, but Jeno's number one fan is someone he doesn’t know. They support him through his patreon account and always leave encouraging words. Any time he shares a new poem, the fan always donates. It’s a nice thought to think someone out there appreciates him unquestionably.

His mind wanders to Haechan and whether he’s ever read anything Jeno has written. It could have happened, but it’s unlikely and even if he did, he would never know it was Jeno due to his pen name. Part of him regrets using one, but he also doesn’t want to be caught as a fraud. It’s a thin line he’s walking. He hope his fans never find out, but he also wishes they would. It would relieve the burden he feels.

_Dream Publishing are delighted to invite you to their_

_Annual Team & Talent Gala_

_A night to celebrate all the great work create by our wonderful in-house team,_

_And the amazing talent who create the success that Dream Publishing is today._

_Join us Saturday 8 th September 2018 @ 7pm_

_Colourful Tie & Jacket Required_

Jeno rereads the invite Chenle sent over a few days ago. Just making sure he’s got the details down correctly.

As his hair is blonde at the moment (it’s been many colours over his 26 years) he’s opted for a silver jacket. Jeno likes to play with fashion styles, and to match clothes to his sharp cheekbones. The cheeks which have always been commented on. He wishes people would look beyond his surface.

People are always shocked when they find out Jeno’s never dated anyone. Everyone thinks J. Lee is married. Well that’s what they say on Tumblr. Steeling himself for his future, Jeno heads out to the party.

The party tonight which could just about change everything.

In fact, he’s in no doubt that it will. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you meet a stranger & feel tingles inside.

### Donghyuck

Donghyuck regrets ever agreeing to attend the damn party and it’s all Mark’s fault. He hates having to go through the rigmarole of getting ready to go out. He used to love it, but not anymore. He has just under an hour before he has to leave, and he has no idea what to wear. Truthfully, he was supposed to start getting ready at least 2 hours earlier, but the 8th book distracted him. He usually liked to create the illustrations as he went through the book; that way he was able to capture the feelings of the character at that very moment. He hated reading ahead and inadvertently inserting feelings, which were yet to come up in the book, into his drawings. The rawer and more honest the feelings were the better the drawing would be. Well, that’s how Donghyuck had always approached his work. So earlier when he'd been working on the drawing for the second to last chapter, and been unable to put the book down, it'd been such a surprise to Donghyuck. And so eerie how much of it related to his own life. He'd just had to know what would happen next. Maybe he was a little but too invested but it was too late now anyway.

 

“Do you ever feel like your perfect match is out there in the Universe

just waiting for you to walk into their lives?”

**-Reuben to Nate – The Circle Breaks, The Last Coven Book 8**

*

The book ends perfectly of course, as always. The seven boys weaving their magic together to save the world. It’s strange how the books follow the same pattern each time, but still it never feels like the same story. R.J always writes the characters so well. Breathing into them life Donghyuck couldn’t even dream up. They’re so captivating these character’s he’s come to love drawing.

Sometimes he thinks his drawings have influenced certain parts of the character’s personalities and, once, he swears the plot changed because of something he drew, but he can’t say for certain. He’s not allowed contact with RJ, no one is. Donghyuck doesn’t feel terribly upset by it, but he does want to meet them. Perhaps they’ll be at the party tonight? Who knows. Donghyuck doesn’t know what to expect, and he kind of doesn’t want to go, but he can’t back out now. Mark would kill him. Plus he does get to see Chenle, which is always a bonus.

Arriving at the offices isn’t anything special. Donghyuck isn’t famous outside of the company, or well-known inside of it to be honest. Some employees know he illustrates The Last Coven, but the majority of the love goes towards to the author R.J. And rightly so, the author is the one who dreams up the amazing world, Donghyuck just brings it to life.

Tonight Donghyuck's outfit includes black jeans, accompanied by a white shirt and the requested smart, red jacket with black embroidered flowers on it. Each of the small flowers have gold thread interwoven in them, making them stand out against the red. It’s a statement jacket, and paired with a gold bow tie, he can’t be lost in the crowd. Usually he wouldn’t try so hard, but Mark’s words about his favourite author potentially being here have stuck in his mind. He wants to make a great first impression, even if he won’t know who he’s making an impression on.

As soon as he enters the reception area he’s accosted by his good friend, and long-time editor, Chenle. The younger man, by only a year, looks good tonight. He’s wearing a bright green jacket, which is only one or two shades darker than his bright green hair. Dream Publishing is known for embracing unusual characters, it's what makes them stand out from other publishing companies.

 _“Looking good tonight, Donghyuck. Thanks for coming.”_ Chenle’s professional as always, to begin with at least. Donghyuck nods his thanks and scans the room. His curiosity gets the better of him. _“Is he here?”_

Chenle looks like he can’t decide whether to say or not, but finally the urge to stir the pot wins over. _“Yup, but he’s incognito. So you won’t find him.”_ A challenge has been issued. Donghyuck whispers _“Wish me luck”_ to the amused looking editor as he heads into battle.

The Dream office doesn’t look like the same place. Granted Donghyuck only ventures here once or twice a year, whenever Chenle decides they should talk face to face professionally, but it's so different. Most of the time they talk via Skype or meet up in the coffee places surrounding the office. Donghyuck has never been one for formality, so it works well for him. Chenle is nothing but accommodating.

On his way in, Donghyuck picks up a flute of champagne from one of the many servers who are hovering near the entrance. With a thanks, he moves over to the west side of the room. It’s oval shaped with raised exits at each end and a flight of stairs on each side of each exit, which has resulting in two platforms opposite each other overlooking the whole room. A DJ sits on top of the platform opposite the one Donghyuck has ascended and above them are various large, confetti-filled, balloons bearing the Dream Publishing name, plus a few of the most famous names and series dotted around. He spots R.J’s name quickly. It really is a celebration of both talent and team. Donghyuck’s heart swells, as he feels part of something bigger than himself. Something that isn’t to do with his soulmate. It’s a relief from his usual inner turmoil.

From his vantage point, Donghyuck can see the entire room. There are a few others on the same raised platform. No-one who sparks his curiosity. Then he sees someone down in the crowd below dressed in a gorgeous blue jacket. A subtle fashionable look, and the stranger is stunning in his chosen outfit.

The man has paired it with plain black dress trousers and a traditional white shirt, black-tie combo, but he stands out regardless. Well to Donghyuck he does. Watching from his high point, Donghyuck tracks the movement of the handsome stranger, and starts to wonder if this could be the elusive R.J. The biggest indicator of the idea is that the stranger speaks to no-one, simply moves through the crowd, acknowledging no-one.

Donghyuck decides there and then to pluck up some courage and approach the stranger. But as he starts to make his way down, he sees something which changes his mind. His stranger meets another stranger, and the two talk for a few minutes. To Donghyuck’s surprise, they are then interrupted by Chenle, who leads the one in blue away. He watches the Chenle and the first stranger walk towards one of the exits, which must lead to the private meeting rooms. It makes sense that Dream would be having multiple business meetings throughout the event, they've always be on the ball with that kind of smart thinking. As he turns his gaze back to the other stranger, Donghyuck see that's already making his way through the crowd. Donghyuck almost dismisses the other man completely, but there’s something very familiar about the way the stranger walks. The thoughts goes as quickly as it arrives, it's silly. He could be anyone.

With his focus back on the room at large, Donghyuck can’t decide whether it’s fun or lame what he’s doing. If Mark were here, he would tell Donghyuck to stop being an idiot and just say hi to someone. So he does. The target is sitting alone on the one of the few sofas, which have been strategically placed around the edge of the room. Donghyuck’s not sure they were put there for people to sit on, rather just to rest up for a few minutes on, but the new stranger doesn’t seem to mind being by himself. Briefly he wonders whether he should leave the person to themselves, but Donghyuck’s kind of sick of being alone.

_“Don’t you just hate these kinds of things. I never think to bring anyone and then I get to hang around like a loner for a few hours, while I wait for 5 minutes of conversation with my editor.”_

His intro comes rushing out all at once, making him sound weird. Definitely not what he meant to go for, but the stranger is looking at him with a wry smile on his lips, so he reckons he hasn’t messed up completely. Encouraged by the smile, he carries on _. “I’m Donghyuck by the way, Illustrator.”_

 _“Hi there Donghyuck, and yes I agree these things kind of suck when you’re alone. I’m new to this event though. I’m Jaemin. Nice to meet you,”_ the stranger says with the most charming voice Donghyuck’s ever heard, and it makes Donghyuck feel a little bit tingly inside. Mark would be so proud of him.

 _“Well hello there, Jaemin. If you’re new, then let me be your temporary tour guide to the wonderful world of Dream Publishing. I, as a veteran, have all the inside scoop for you.”_ Donghyuck embraces his long forgotten persona, the Donghyuck who could flirt with no trouble and loved to meet new people. Jaemin looks amused; Donghyuck takes it as a win.

_“Okay Donghyuck. What’s the scoop?”_

Donghyuck talks about the editors he thinks are secretly seeing each other. He points out the two big bosses who pretend to get on in real life, but secretly can’t stand each other. Donghyuck even manages to point out some of the lesser known authors. By the end, Donghyuck’s pretty impressed with the knowledge he’s managed to pull out of his hat.

Perhaps he fits in here more than he realised.

Moving on from general gossip, the two make light talk. Somewhere along the way, Jaemin asks what Donghyuck’s currently working on. He tells him and Jaemin looks impressed _. “All the drawings in The Last Coven books? I’ve always like them. You do a great job of capturing their essence Donghyuck”._

Jaemin’s words fill Donghyuck’s heart with pride. It never hurts to hear people praise your work, but for someone to understand what Donghyuck’s been trying to do all these years tugs at his soul. Taking a second glance at Jaemin, he wonders for the first time what exactly Jaemin does. He couldn’t be R.J, could he? There’s a letter in common in his name and he likes Donghyuck’s work, but before he can ask anything, someone Jaemin seems to recognise approaches them.

Donghyuck listens to the exchange without meaning to. The stranger’s name is Doyoung and it appears Jaemin is needed somewhere else. Before he goes, though, Jaemin turns to him. “ _It was really nice meeting you, Donghyuck. I can’t wait to see what the boys get up to in the eighth book. I’m a big fan of the books. I feel one step closer to them now, which is nice. Have a good party.”_

And with that he’s gone, and Donghyuck is alone again.

 *

### Renjun

Renjun feels like he’s drowning in a sea of people. He thinks he saw Chenle at some point, but other than that, it’s been radio silence on the usual texting they do. So unlike his editor. By now they usually would have taken apart at least ten people’s hideous outfits. He feels silly standing on his own in the middle of a crowd. Like high school all over again. Except usually he’d have Yukhei to keep him distracted from the unease currently growing in his stomach.

There’s a reason Renjun doesn’t want his name on his books. He suffers terribly from social anxiety. Over the years, it’s come and gone, sometimes he can barely leave the house. Other times he’s able to venture out to meet either Yukhei or Chenle, but even then it’s never for too long. He’s long resided himself to a life of a hermit. Renjun thinks it suits him well.

He scans the crowd, but can’t see anyone who looks friendly enough to stand by, never mind say hi to. Then, just as he’s about to leave, someone approaches him. It’s a tall man, who's dressed well in a silver jacket. He looks stunning in it. His hello is friendly and exactly one of someone who has no idea who Renjun is. So he takes a chance and offers his own hello back.

The stranger smiles and lets Renjun know he can call him Jeno, if he wants. It’s a cheeky smile which makes Renjun smile back. He hasn’t smiled like this, in a flirting manner, for a while. It’s been so long since he could do anything like that around Yukhei. He offers his own name in return, Renjun of course. R.J is a secret he hopes to take to his grave.

 _“So what brings you to this party?”_ Jeno curious, of course, to the reason behind Renjun’s attendance. Who wouldn’t be? It’s the whole point of the party for people to get to know each other, after all. This is always the downside to saying hello for Renjun, idle conversation.

Renjun responds in his usual manner. _“Oh I’m a proof-reader.”_ Jeno smiles at him, Renjun notices that every time he smiles, his eyes make these upside-down half-moons. It’s adorable and makes his heart do a double beat. Weird.

Feeling brave, Renjun offers the same question to Jeno, who looks shy for the first time. _“Oh I’m here to meet some of the team about some of my poems. I’m not signed yet or anything, but it’s pretty exciting.”_

Renjun remembers the feeling of being of the edge of being signed. It’s exuberating. The novice hope that someone will like what you’ve created. That there is a place for your work in this world. It takes Renjun back and reminds him of everything he has to be grateful for. It’s a good reminder. As he goes to ask Jeno more about his work though, Chenle appears looking a little exasperated. _“Chenle, what are you doing here?”_ Renjun asks nervously. Chenle shouldn’t be approaching him like this, but then he glances quickly down at the phone in his hand and notices there are two messages and three missed calls from the very person standing in front of him.

Ooops!

_“Apologies, Renjun. I have an author I want to introduce you to, who needs a solid proof-reader behind him. He’s a bit of terrible speller, but can create fantasy worlds you can’t put down.”_

It’s a good cover from Chenle. He’s always been a quick thinker. Jeno seems none the wiser. Renjun bids him farewell and heads over to the meeting rooms with Chenle in front. He hopes no-one clocked the moment between them. Chenle is known for working with only the top talent. Renjun’s not ready to be seen.

The meeting isn’t as painful as Renjun thought it would be. Chenle is there the whole time, making sure Renjun is comfortable. They ask about the final book. Is it on schedule? Yes. Will he give them any spoilers? No. What is he thinking about for life after the series? He doesn’t know yet, but perhaps, after a short break, maybe he will do a couple of one-off books. He has some ideas, which he’s keen to get down on the page; they're all non-magical but still character focused. They all hum and nod in approval.

Renjun’s aware that post-The Last Coven-anything he publishes should do well. It’s the book after that, that will really cement Renjun as a proper author. Well, in his mind it will. Yukhei's always telling him he is a proper author now, but Renjun just feels like he got lucky. The Last Coven isn’t really his anymore; the story almost tells itself at this point. Maybe it’s just author’s doubt, but Renjun wants to prove himself. Maybe he should publish under another pen name, but that sounds a bit ridiculous, even to Renjun’s ears.

By the time Renjun gets out of his meeting 30 minutes later, the silver coated stranger is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he’s finally in his own meeting? Renjun hopes they like his work. Maybe he'll take a look at himself. It can't hurt. Writers are nothing if not supportive of other writers.

Scanning the crowd once more, Renjun decides he’s reached his limit for social interaction for one night and starts to head out, pulling up the Uber app on his phone. He may have a fair bit of money in the bank, but he’s not completely lost his sense of normality. Though sometimes Chenle does bring him crashing down to earth when he points out how much Renjun spends on takeout each week when he’s in writing mode. Renjun loves to cook, but when he’s writing, he is in full writing mode. Takeout is his one vice and he’ll never give it up no matter what Chenle says.

Renjun sits patiently in the lobby as he waits for his car to arrive. There’s another man here too. He’s dressed in a stunning red and black embroidered jacket. Jesus when did the team and talent start to dress so well. Renjun’s disappointed he couldn’t spend as much time this party taking the piss like usual. Renjun realised he’s staring at the pretty man and the other man is staring back. The stranger lifts a hand to wave at Renjun. Having been brave all night, he decides one more time won’t hurt.

 _“Hi”_ The voice is soft. It sends shivers up Renjun’s spine and he doesn’t know why. He shoots a hello back. The conversation continues albeit slowly, mostly due to Renjun’s delayed responses. He checks the app, five minutes until pick up. Why did he always opt for the fancy cars. They always took longer because there were less of them.

 _“Fun party, ehh…”_ The stranger’s tone suggest the party they’ve both been attending was anything but, _“Yeah I’m not really a party goer either. Prefer to stay inside and do my writing.”_ Renjun feels the words leave his mouth before he can contemplates their importance.

Donghyuck looks intrigued but not shocked. He’s still in the safe zone, it seems but no more work talk, well about his at least.

 _“You heading out already?”_ Donghyuck’s follow up question doesn’t really mean much. It’s still chitchat. Renjun treads carefully. “ _Yeah, I had my meeting, so I’m going to head home. Parties make me feel uncomfortable you could say.”_ The stranger looks contemplative. Renjun checks his phone. Two minutes away.

_“I’m Donghyuck by the way, I’m an illustrator.”_

Renjun is lost for words. This is his Donghyuck. The Last Coven’s Illustrator. He can’t believe it. Finally he can see the master behind the artworks which have brought his magical world to life. It seems fitting that the man in front of him is like an artwork himself. Renjun’s brain goes blank, he can’t think of what to say. Thankfully his phone pings gives him an out by informing him his driver has arrived. He gets up to go.

 _“It was nice to meet you Donghyuck, great work on the latest illustrations by the way. I hope we can meet again one day soon.”_ He’s not ready to talk to Donghyuck properly as R.J. yet but now he’s met him he doesn’t seem so scary, so he can’t help himself a bit. Perhaps Renjun can let some of his walls down to really talk to the giver of life to his words.

Donghyuck gives him a half wave, he seems confused by Renjun’s words and as to why Renjun is running away without giving him his name. However before Renjun leaves the building he turns to catch Donghyuck’s eyes, which seem to have lit up with understanding.

Renjun doesn’t want to know what he’s figured out, so he turns and leaves without looking back again. He’s a chicken like that, but it’s exciting all the same.

 *

### Jaemin

With invitation in hand and a gold, peacock patterned jacket on, Jaemin is ready to face the wolves. He’d told Doyoung to meet him at the venue. No point him coming across the city to pick Jaemin up, when he lived just around the corner from Dream Publishing.

However his thoughtfulness means Jaemin has to steel his nerves alone. He didn’t often go out as Jaemin to events like these. Nana was almost like a complete sub-persona, who he just let take over, so he didn’t have deal with all the feelings that came along with being famous. Minho his therapist said it possibly wasn’t the best way to deal with the trappings of fame, but he supported him. Jaemin was an unusual case.

Chenle greets him when he enters the place. Jaemin's surprised the younger man can pick him out of a crowd so easily, but he guesses Chenle is working tonight in some ways, and his projects are his babies. Chenle was one of the other main reasons Jaemin signed with Dream Publishing in the first place. Chenle was a fan, but he also just seemed really chill about everything. He made Jaemin feel relaxed more than anything, plus he’d heard from Chenle about his other high-profile clients and being subtle was second nature to him. It was a good set up.

Once Chenle has let him know their meeting will be in a little while, Jaemin grabs a cocktail from one of the temporary bars. He loves a cocktail and this time he goes for a Shirley Temple, because why not. He doesn’t have an image to protect here. Assessing the room, he immediately notices a number of sofas against the far wall. Perfect. Both of his personalities are pretty social, but tonight he doesn’t know who to be. He’s here as Jaemin, so people won’t recognise him as Nana, but on the other hand this is an event for Nana. His artwork, and his projects. He’s starting to agree with Minho about how unhealthy it can be to separate his personalities so much. Technically they are both him, but they perform such different functions. Nana enables Jaemin to live freely.

He heads over to the sofas to wait for Doyoung, popping off a message to the older man so he knows where to find him when he turns up. Jaemin doesn’t think about his soulmate often, but with so many new people in front of him it’s hard not to. They’ve been conditioned from a young age to pay attention to new people, and how they feel when they meet them. Is there any kind of unusual feeling? A spark? Something which may suggest their potential as a soulmate. Jaemin hasn’t given up completely, but he’s found learning to deal with his own emotions have taken up a lot of his twenties so far.

Nana helps him channel his wild thoughts and feelings into colours and shapes. Sometimes Jaemin’s satisfied with what comes out on the canvas, happy to display his work. Others he hates it all and if it weren’t for Doyoung protecting them, all of them would go in the bin. An artist’s prerogative apparently. To always love your work was too much of a blessing. You had to have the good with the bad, so you could know what was good. Like finding soulmate.

It doesn’t take long for Jaemin to be joined on the sofas. The new guest has the boldest red jacket on and it looks great on him. Actually when Jaemin looks twice, he realises the stranger is quite beautiful, almost blindingly so. It’s hard to look at him for too long, so Jaemin avoids too much eye contact. He’s still afraid someone’s going to figure out he’s Nana. Paranoia at its best. The stranger launches into a friendly opening conversation, he rambles a bit, but it’s cute.

Jaemin finds himself opening up a bit to the stranger. Discovering his name to be Donghyuck, and he knows way more people than Jaemin does. It turns out Donghyuck is the illustrator for the famous Last Coven series. Jaemin’s read them all. He enjoys the story, but the artwork has always caught his attention more. As an artist Jaemin understands visual mediums better than words, and Donghyuck truly knows his craft. Wanting to share some of the artist love back around, he tells Donghyuck about what he admires of his work. Artist to Artist, except Donghyuck doesn’t know he’s an artist, but still it counts. Especially when Donghyuck’s face lights up like a thousand-watt bulb.

Impossibly it makes the man next to him shine brighter.

Their back and forth is cut short by the arrival of Doyoung, who looks as professional as ever in a sharp black suit, but that has sequins all along the lapels. Jaemin is mesmerised by the jacket for a moment, before finally greeting his friend. It seems it’s time to face the wolves, but after such a lighted-hearted conversation with the handsome man, Jaemin feels all the braver to meet them.

Shortly after they arrive in a decent sized meeting room, the kind which has touch screens on the wall and its own coffee machine, both Chenle and a man Jaemin’s not met appear. Some quick introductions with Chenle introducing the head of the editorial department Kim Kibum to them. Jaemin introduces Doyoung, his friend and his not-official manager for Nana. Though Doyoung’s being doing it for so long now that he might as well be his real manager, Jaemin makes a mental note to talk to Doyoung about it.

The conversation isn’t heavy. It’s more of a meet and greet, so Jaemin can understand what Dream hope to enable him to do. He asks a few questions, mostly about timelines and additional pieces that will be needed. The one new bit of information that comes up is that the company want to throw a lunch party for the book. They suggest to combine it with a charitable auction, and all proceeds could go to Jaemin’s charity of choice. It sounds good. There are definitely some works in his studio he’d be keen to see the back of, and if the proceeds are going to charity, then he can make the sacrifice of seeing them leave imperfect.

It always feels like their imperfect no matter what Doyoung says.

With all the details ironed out, the trio head out. Chenle exclaims he now has to find a new poet they’re hoping to sign. Jaemin’s heart jumps in his throat. No it couldn’t be him, that would just be too coincidental. Hoping to sound conversational rather than crazy, he quietly asks who the poet is. Chenle looks surprised but graciously answers anyway. _“Oh he goes by the name of J.Lee and….”_ He’s cut off before he can finish because they bump into someone Chenle recognises.

Jaemin can’t help but eavesdrop to Chenle’s now dropped tone, _“Hey Jeno, Mr Kim is ready to see you, if you are?”_

Jeno….J.Lee….it’s him. It’s the poet Jaemin swears his heart sings to every time he shares something new. Jaemin’s been a long-time supporter via his online accounts. He wants to say something, but Jaemin finds all his words have been lost to shock. The man he only knew by his pen name, walks past him chatting excitedly with Chenle. Jeno doesn’t even glance at Jaemin really, but Jaemin sees him and he’s perfect. He feels tingles in his body at the sight of him.

Does this mean what he thinks it could mean? Could J.Lee aka Jeno Lee potentially be his Soulmate? Jaemin starts to freak out a bit. Emotions hitting him from every angle. Doyoung notices and clocks Jaemin’s descent into panic.

 _“Let’s go Jaemin. You’re done here right?”_ Jaemin nods because no words are forming in his mind, other than the swirl of Jeno, Jeno, Jeno.

He decides there and then that he must learn more about the boy whose made his soul tingle. On the way out he thinks he sees Donghyuck talking to a blonde-haired man, wearing a stunning blue suit. He’s glad Donghyuck found someone else to talk to.

*

### Jeno

The whole evening is a blur and he can’t wait to tell Yuta all about it. Jeno’s been snapping over photos all night, but nothing really does the event justice. It’s the swankiest party Jeno’s ever been to in his whole life. It feels unreal and he's met so many people. Jeno's not sure can remember even half of their names, never mind what they do.

The only one who stood out was the proof-reader and Jeno's unsure as to why. Probably it was his encouraging tone egging Jeno on, like he’d been there himself. Weird. Jeno wonders if he’s ever had anything published outside of his proof-reading work. Jeno doesn’t know much about the profession, except they make all writers look good whilst taking none of the credit.

He’s been lost in a whirl of drinks, and chatter and in general been in awe all evening long. When Chenle at last beckons him after emerging from another meeting, Jeno’s heart starts thumping a thousand times faster than before. This moment could define his career, but it could also be his way out. If they realise the truth, then he doesn’t have to keep pretending he knows what he’s talking about. That he words aren’t just lies fabricated out of stolen half-truths.

As he follows Chenle through the double door leading him to his fate, he feels eyes on him but he’s too nervous to look away. No distractions. He doesn’t want to let Yuta down, nor his parents. They mean everything to him.

 _“Good Evening, Jeno-ssi. How are you? Enjoying the party I hope?”_ Kim Kibum, editor extraordinaire and Head of Editorial at Dream Publishing, sits across from him. Chenle’s sat next to Jeno. He’s thankful to his new friend. If that’s what they are? There’s just something so easy about Chenle, makes Jeno feel like everything is going to be okay.

 _“Yes, it’s been amazing. Thank you for so much for inviting me Mr Kim. I’m honoured even to be here tonight.”_ Mr Kim laughs and asks him to drop the formalities, claiming everyone calls him Key. Jeno smiles like he’s been given the keys to the kingdom. First name basis with the legendary Kibum. If nothing else happens tonight, he’ll still be smiling for weeks.

 _“Getting straight to it, Chenle’s been showing me some of your work and I have to say Jeno, is it okay to call you Jeno?”_ Jeno nods. _“Excellent, in all honesty, I’m taken back at the honesty and passion behind your words. Tell me more about your work.”_

Jeno’s brain comes to a halt. Tell him about his work. What will he say? Should he lie? Should he tell the truth? He goes for a half truth.

 _“I think there’s something so magical about having a soulmate. Someone is who destined to be perfect for you, and pair that with the work still required to find them. It demonstrates what I believe love to really be; which is the spark and a lot of hard work.”_ It’s more bullshit but isn’t that what Jeno’s here because of. His ability to spin words into whatever he wants them to mean. Key nods, he looks impressed.

 _“Excellent, excellent”._ It seems Key likes the word excellent. Jeno suppresses a giggle. _“Jeno we’d love to start sharing some of your work on our up and coming talent blog. It’s a place where we share works by people we’re interested in to gauge the market interest for a potential book and other projects. We of course pay for any work you share with us exclusively to publish on the account._

_I’d like to commission three pieces from you to start. They may not all appear, but I like to have options. This will sign you into a temporary contract with us, so I’d ask you not to meet with any other publisher’s, but you are of course welcome to continue posting your own content on your own channels. If we decide to push forward with an anthology of work, then we’ll bring you more formally onto the books. How does that sound?”_

It’s a lot of words. Most of which sound like they are too good to be true. He’s taking too long to answer. Chenle nudges him slightly in the side and asks him if he has any questions before he goes away to think about the offer. Thank goodness for Chenle.

_“Will I get to work with Chenle?”_

It’s the only question which really matters to him. _“Oh yes, Chenle likes to look after his special finds.”_ Jeno grins at them both, happy with the answer. It means he doesn’t have to fake as much being around Chenle. The meeting ends with a firm handshake and Jeno promises he’ll be in touch soon. There’s no way he’s turning this down, but it’s still a good idea to go away and think about it. Make sure the terms work for him as well.

By the time they re-enter the party, about half the guests have left. It’s near 11pm now. There looks to be a small group of Dream staff members left, who are gearing up to go out for dinner and drinks. Chenle invites him to get to know the team, so he accepts. Jeno loves to get to know new people. He still has faith he’ll meet his soulmate, even if they think he lives in la-la land. He wants his fairy tale, whatever it may be.

Maybe one day he’ll run into Haechan again.

Dinner is fun. He even invites Yuta, who joins them a little after they start. Surprisingly Chenle has a guest too, someone by the name of Jisung. Jeno watches the two interact and quickly concludes the two must be soulmates. He’s witnessed far too many moments between Soulmates to mistake it. To the pair, he asks how long they’ve been paired. And to his horror the two look at him in shock. Oh shit, they don’t know yet because Jeno knows he’s not wrong. Soulmates just act in this way, which is almost invisible to the average watcher, but Jeno’s made it his life’s mission to understand the connection between soulmates and these two definitely have it.

Both talk at the same time. Chenle with _“He’s not my soulmate”_ and Jisung _“We’re just good friends._ ” And then time seems to stop for the two of them. Jeno thinks he knows what might just have happened but he’s content to watch it play out. By now the rest of the dinner party are watching the pair as they come to terms with their discovery. It’s Chenle who shows his shoulder first where the words We’re just good friends are outlined in black.

Next, it’s Jisung’s turn, who lifts his right trouser leg to reveal the other set of matching words, He’s not my Soulmate. The two stare at each other, and then all of a sudden, they’re laughing loudly. It fills the restaurant with this warm sound which captures everyone else’s attention. Once they stop laughing, Chenle reaches out for Jisung’s hand, which he gives willing. Another match made in heaven it seems. How can it be a fantasy when Jeno gets to witness amazing moments like this. He knows exactly what his first poem will be about, hoping Chenle won’t mind him plagiarizing the most important moment of his life.

The restaurant breaks into applause, and the two men spend the rest of the night sneaking glances at each other. Like they’re really seeing each for the first time.

It’s magical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my buddy Tea for helping Beta this :) It's so complex to keep track of them you would not believe :o Let me know your thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently unbetaed, but I wanted you to see that I haven't abandoned this story. Been working on my first novel, which takes up so much time. Enjoy!!!! Let me know what you think.
> 
> p.s - bold italics means emails. italics means conversation.

### Donghyuck

Donghyuck watches the mysterious man exit the revolving doors with a dumb look on his face. And it’s only when the other glances back and catches his eyes, does the meaning of his words land properly in Donghyuck’s mind.

He just met R.J. His beloved author.

With his mind gone to shit, Donghyuck can barely move. Of all the events of the night, meeting the handsome stranger on the sofas, his own short but productive meeting, and lastly the mesmerising stranger on the seats, the fact that that stranger was indeed R.J has made him lose all sense of himself. He tries to recall R.J’s exact words.

_“It was nice to meet you Donghyuck, great work on the latest illustrations_

_by the way. I hope we can meet again one day soon.”_

R.J praised his work. In all seriousness, Donghyuck knows R.J loves his work. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t still be illustrating the books 8 volumes later. But it feels different to hear it from the author’s own lips. He hopes they can meet again soon. How? Did R.J even mean that?

Weirdly Donghyuck in all the time he’s daydreamed about what R.J will look like, he’s never imagined him as a blonde. However now he’s seen it, he thinks it’s perfect. R.J is perfect with his beautifully arched nose, sharp jaw and jewel sparkling eyes. Okay, maybe Donghyuck been hit with one of the Coven’s spells, but R.J has blown him away, and the urge to get to know the author is only more potent now. The only real connection they have is Chenle, and Donghyuck’s been asking for R.J’s email for years. He doubts the other will let him now.

He just has to wait for R.J to live up to his words it seems.

*

The following week goes by slowly. Donghyuck is focused on finishing the final few illustrations for the 8th book. His deadline is Friday, and he has one drawing left to do. He knows what it will be of too. There’s a big scene between Reuben and his werewolf girlfriend at the end of the book. The girlfriend turns out to be one of the villains of the piece. It’s a big twist. R.J really knows how to throw you, but what Donghyuck wants to portray isn’t the gory fight scene, no, he wants to show the moment Reuben realises Annalise has been betraying him this whole time.

The moment in the book is so painfully written, and Donghyuck is almost obsessed with carrying over that pain from the words to his pen. He begins, and the work comes together pretty quickly for one of his drawing. Usually he draws them in pencil first, and then translates that into digital for touch ups. He finds his pencil creates more emotions than a screen does.

When the last few bits of shades are completed, he takes a step back and just looks at the piece. It’s an important step for him. When he views the piece properly for the first time, he wants to feel the raw emotion behind it. He knows what he feels when viewing is what viewers will, what R.J. will.

but there’s something off this time though, he can feel it.

Annalise looks angry, but whilst reading Donghyuck felt Annalise being almost apologetic for her actions. R.J hadn’t really elaborated too much into why she betrayed him, focusing instead on the betrayal, but Donghyuck knows it’s there. So he adds some sorrow and sincerity into her face, and at last it’s done. He spend the rest of the day making it digital and adding in the colour and detail he wants. It’s a fantastic last piece, and it will make the book perfect. Well at least he hopes. R.J’s never rejected any of his drawings in the past, but now they’ve met, he wonders if it will change.

Donghyuck packages the file up and uploads it to his and Chenle’s shared secure storage file, checking the quality for the final four images as he goes. Sometimes he does twelve, sometimes eight, depending on the story, but this time a total of ten felt right. Chenle will usually share them with R.J. once he’s briefly looked them over. Chenle admitted recently he didn’t look anymore, trusting Donghyuck to deliver and that in the end, it was what R.J thought of them that mattered.

*

He doesn’t think of them again for a few days, and in the meantime, Mark and Taeyong treat him to a night of Hot Pot and Soju. A celebration of his return to the real world. He admits to becoming a little obsessive with his work, but truthfully, it’s only Mark and Taeyong who would miss him. On the second of such evenings, Donghyuck finally tells them about the party and his meeting with the mysterious R.J.

 _“What do you mean you met the author? Why the hell are we only hearing about this now?”_ Mark asks in an incredulous tone. Donghyuck doesn’t really know the answer to that question. He guesses it’s because he didn’t really believe it himself at first. That it had felt like part of a different life, one he didn’t want to come back from when he told someone else, aka Mark.

 _“I didn’t want it to be a dream”_ is what he admits out loud. Mark hits his shoulder and teases him, _“You idiot, you haven’t completely lost your marbles. Spill.”_

Taeyong joins the conversation. _“What does the infamous R.J. look like then?”_

Donghyuck hesitates then. R.J has always been so adamant about protecting his identity, and he doesn’t want to jeopardize his job. Marks seems to sense his reluctance, and clarifies the request into something easier for Donghyuck to answer, _“How about you tell us what he was like?”_

This feels easier to answer. _“He was soft, and kind. And he was so nice to me."_  Donghyuck knows his own eyes are full of stars right now. He can’t help it. He feels well and truly in love with the author. Mark laughs in his face at his blush. Taeyong is kinder. _“Oh that’s nice Hyuckie. Do you think he could be your Soulmate?”_

He's shocked. Donghyuck hadn’t considered the idea. He thinks back to the moment he met R.J, but he can’t remember clearly, instead the handsome man from the sofa comes to his mind. Jaemin, if he recalls correctly. He remembers tingles then.

Huh, he’s been so wrapped up in the idea of meeting R.J, maybe he’s missed his Soulmate completely?

 _“Crap”_ , and Donghyuck shares his revelation.

 _“Oh wow Hyuckie. Maybe you can ask Chenle to help you, if you think it could be him?”_ Donghyuck isn’t sure though, he knows he felt something more than the usual, but what, he doesn’t know. Donghyuck heads home on the Metro and pulls out his phone wanting to follow up about Jaemin with Chenle asap. He doesn’t get to writing the email though, because sat there in his inbox is an email which takes his breathe away.

The email address reads from _ **renjun@dreampublishing.com.**_

Renjun as in R.J.?

R.J has emailed him. He’s so shocked, he can barely open the email which now sits casually in his inbox. He doesn’t know how it’s happened, but oh he might know. Chenle’s probably given it to him knowing Donghyuck would be okay with that. Donghyuck clicks on the unread icon of the email, and his heart stops.

 

 

### Renjun

Renjun hits send on the email, before giving it one last read. He’s spent all day writing it, deleting it and re-writing it. It’s never going to be right enough though, so he might as well just send it. His perfectionism can be really be annoying sometimes.

 

**_Donghyuck,_ **

**_I apologise for my abrupt departure last week. As you are probably well aware by now, I’m not the most social person, preferring to keep to myself mostly. So meeting you was quite the surprise, and I wasn’t really prepared to have a conversation with you._ **

**_However ever since we met, it’s been preying on my mind that I didn’t get a chance to tell you how much you’ve helped me with The Last Coven series. And how much of an important role you play in my life, even though we’ve never met. I’m sorry if this is coming across too serious or overwhelming in any way but it’s unlikely, I will ever be able to say this to you in person. So this is the next best thing, I guess._ **

**_Thank you._ _I really mean it. You’ve helped me more than you will ever know._ **

**_And onto what prompted my email today, I need to know, how did you know Annalise was apologetic for what she had done? I remember writing it and feeling like the audience wouldn’t understand that she wasn’t evil, but somehow it didn’t come out well at all, but you… you got it somehow, and I just don’t know how you did._ **

**_Currently her story is causing me issues, so I’d love to know more about how you see my world to know if you can help me untangle her story. You’ve helped shape more than one plot line. I’m sure you’re aware, so please help me one more time._ **

**_Yours Faithfully_ **

**_Renjun_ **

**_(aka R.J please don’t tell anyone who I am, I know you won’t, but I have to ask)_ **

*

He’s not really sure what’s gotten into him, but as soon as Renjun saw the final illustrations, he was like a writer obsessed. How had Donghyuck known about Annalise. No word in the entire book mentions her sorrow at betraying Reuben. Nowhere. But somehow Donghyuck has found it between the words, and beautifully crafted it into a piece of art. Sometimes Renjun finds Donghyuck takes his breath away as much as Jaemin does.

With each new book, Renjun likes to play a game where he predicts which moments Donghyuck will draw. In the first few years of the game, he’d gotten it wrong every time, but it didn’t take him long to realise Donghyuck went for the non-earth-shattering moments. He drew the moments which touched the readers heart or showed the mundane in a different light. It’s why Donghyuck was the only illustrator Renjun would ever work with again, or so he’d decided. As soon as he’d seen the final illustration, which was on his list, but just not in the way Donghyuck had drawn it, he’d pulled out his computer and started typing. So unlike him.

He’d shared mostly nonsense but some heartfelt truths peppered in-between. Getting Donghyuck’s email had been harder. Chenle had been reluctant to give over the illustrator’s email to Renjun. Advising it was a step R.J couldn’t come back from, and was he really ready to have that kind of relationship with Donghyuck, because Donghyuck was extremely fond of R.J.

To be fair, at that moment, he’d doubted his decision. The idea that someone he didn’t even know could be overly fond of him was bizarre. He obviously had no idea who Renjun really was, but Renjun kept thinking of the man he’d met in that lobby that night and his gut told him, it was safe. So he’d pushed Chenle, who’d confirmed his email address as _**Donghyuck@dreampublishing.com**_. Renjun probably could have guessed it based on his own, but he needed to be sure, he couldn’t have some random Donghyuck in the company knowing who he was. Privacy was always his number one priority.

The reply came a few hours later.

 

**_Hi Renjun,_ **

**_Wow it feels really weird to type out your name. I’ve spent so long thinking of you as R.J, that I’m finding it difficult to put you, your name and your novels all together in my mind. I hope you can give me a minute to figure all that out._ **

**_To answer your question, I just couldn’t believe that she wouldn’t feel sad at that moment. The two of them have been through so much together, that even if she was always working for their enemies, that their time together must have affected her. It always does, when people have precious moments together, they imprint on the heart and you never forget those people as much as you want. I understand why you did that to her character, the story needed it. Plus it builds well for the final book, if you’re going the way I think you are._ **

**_But her story isn’t over. I know it, as probably do you, so it felt only right to share that part of her story, which you couldn’t fit into the story on the page._ **

**_To be honest, I have no idea how you develop so many storylines in one series and always make it feel like each one gets enough story telling time. I always feel like your books are the avengers movies in writing. My answer is yes by the way, of course I’ll help and if you don’t want to meet, I’m happy to talk over email. Whatever you need._ **

**_Lastly, I did have an inkling but wow, thank you for saying that. Working with you has been one of the greatest privileges of my life._ **

**_Thank You  
Donghyuck (aka Hyuckie)_**

**_(Of course I’ll never tell a soul if you didn’t want me to, thank you for opening up to me. It means a lot.)_ **

 

The relief is enormous. He should’ve known Donghyuck would understand him so well, and his characters. Everything makes so much sense. Of course, Annalise would have changed her feelings. It was impossible not to, after Reuben saved her from the Diod creature, and how she’d supported him through his anxiety attacks after being capture by the Flug Horned demons. They were a great pair, and no matter her family ties, she would feel sorrow for betraying him. She may not be upset about the others, but Reuben was different.

Suddenly Renjun is more than excited to finally have someone who knows the books as well as he to fan over then with, and talk through the character development. If anything, this was going to be fun. He starts his response.

**_“You’re right, of course…”_ **

 

 

### Jaemin

Jaemin takes a few days to get over the shock of finally seeing the poet in real life and learning his true name. Jeno. He’s not very productive in the week following the party. Doyoung has to reminds him that he has work to, which is the only thing that pushes him back into action.

Poor Doyoung, he must be so sick of Jaemin whining about someone he’s only seen, but never spoken to. Doyoung ever the problem solver at one point suggests reaching out to Jeno via Chenle, but for all Jaemin’s lamenting, he doesn’t feel comfortable doing so. He’s not close to the young editor, and it just feels strange to go through someone else. Jaemin wants talk to J.Lee, to understand more about what he knows of soulmates. To get to know the man behind the beautiful words.

 _"How are you going to speak to him then?”_ Doyoung’s unhelpful lips ask.

 _“I’m going to donate as usual, but this time I’m going to add a message and mention the party.”_   It’s a good a plan as any and Doyoung’s response is encouraging, _“Go for it Jaems. You deserve to find someone who makes you feel alive”._

Jaemin’s been looking for a connection for so long, this could be it. On the other hand maybe talking to the person he’s kind of obsessed with is not the healthiest of ways to go about it, but he lives a complicated life. He brushes that thought aside. J.Lee’s latest work interestingly is a poem about finding your soulmate right in front of your eyes. Two friends, destined soulmates, finding each other because someone else pointed out what was obvious to the observer, but not to the two in love.

It’s a beautiful piece, which has Jaemin tearing up. Anything that makes him feel something is Art to Jaemin, so he thinks of nothing when he loads up the donation field with two many zeros and adds a short message.

 

**_Hi J.Lee_ **

**_Great work as usual. I really felt this one happened in real life, did it?_ **

**_Sorry for the unusual question, but were you by any chance at the recent Dream Publishing party? I was there too, and I thought I heard your name being mentioned. Sorry if this comes across as too forward. I’m just a big fan of your work._ **

**_As always, thanks for the amazing art._ **

**_Jaemin_ **

*

 

For the next week, no reply comes. Jaemin is heartbroken. How could the poet ignore him so easily? Jaemin’s checked the message inbox over a hundred times, pulling it down to refresh it, but nothing, no response. Maybe Jeno thinks he’s a stalker.

Maybe he is? Though when he mentioned that thought to Doyoung, he was assured he wasn’t, and to just give Jeno some time. Not everyone was attached to their phone like Jaemin, and maybe Jeno was busy. So instead of dwelling on it, Jaemin takes his emotions out on the canvas, a good of a coping mechanism as anything else. Perhaps healthier than some others. This time round though, he thinks of Jeno instead of J.Lee when he paints.

After hours of painting, he was starting to see a theme emerge, which was often the way with this work. This time it's longing. Something Jaemin knows well. Yearning for something, or someone.

Jeno.

His weekly chat with Chenle is brief. The younger hesitant to ask for too much, only asking Jaemin to think about what he wants the book theme to be. It seems he may have found it already though. It was like second nature for Jaemin to want something he didn’t have, and now that idea has a full name and a face, a devastatingly handsome. Jeno has become all Jaemin can think about. The piece he finishes that day suggests his new muse will be great for his art, just not for his mind.

 

*

The reply comes exactly 4 days, 2 hours and 20 minutes after it’s sent. He's not counting.

 

**_Hi Jaemin,_ **

**_First of all, thank you so much for supporting me all this time. I went back to check all the times you’ve supported me via this platform and holy shit, it’s a lot. So thank you for being so kind to me, even when I don’t probably deserve it._ **

**_Secondly, you’re right, my editor realised his close friend was really his soulmate, after I accidentally asked how long they’d been together. You might be surprised to learn it happens to me a lot. I guess that’s what happens when you spend a lifetime studying Soulmates._ **

**_Do you ever feel like you might have already met yours, but they got taken away from you too soon? Sorry such a personal question, just having a lot of thoughts lately and you seem like a good person to ask. A stranger, who doesn’t really know me, except through my work, I guess?_ **

**_Are you a writer too then, if you were at the party? I can’t really say why I was there yet, but I bet you can make a good guess. I hope to hear from you more, it was a nice surprise and sorry it took me so long to reply. I’ve been buried under writing work and actually going to work, which takes up so much time. Busy, busy._ **

**_Thank you for always being my cheerleader!_ **

**_Jeno_ **

 

How can Jaemin reply to such a perfect message. Jeno writes beautifully, even outside of his poetry. He’s so open, even though Jaemin is a stranger, and it makes Jaemin’s heart soar. Some of Jeno’s words trouble him though. J.Lee always seemed to have it so together, but it looks like that might not be the case for Jeno. Maybe he really is as complex as Jaemin is. It would be nice to be understood for once.

_Do you ever feel like you might have already met yours, but they got taken away from you too soon?”_

He re-reads this sentence a thousand times before gaining the courage to reply. Secretly Jaemin had wished Jeno to be his soulmate, so he could be free from his pain, but he guesses that’s not how it works in the real world.

*

**_Jeno,_ **

**_I wish I could say I had met them, but to be truthful, I don’t feel like I’ve even come close to them. When do you think you met them? What makes you think they were your soulmate? I’m so curious about how you know so much about them. I thought you might already be with yours (sorry again if this is too personal)._ **

**_I’m not a writer actually, I’m more of a painter. What do you mean about not deserving it? You work hard putting your work out into the world. To be honest, I’ve not seen someone so dedicated to doing that in a long time. You kind of remind me of me, maybe that’s why I’ve wanted to support you so much. It’s a hard struggle, when you want to focus on your work, but the world drags your attention away from it, so if I’ve been able to help you focus on your work at all. I will feel satisfied._ **

**_I’m super excited about this mystery upcoming project of yours. Is your editor Chenle by the way? Because he’s mine too. That’s so coincidental._ **

**_Thank you for always sharing such beautiful work_ **

**_Jaemin_ **

 

He’s definitely shared too much this time, but for the first time, he feels like he wants to let someone in. Someone who might understand him, and like him for himself. Not because he’s Nana.

 

### Jeno

The week since the party has been absolutely exhausting for Jeno. Having to take off the weekend for the party has meant he’s due some overtime to catch up on both rent money and to make it up to his co-workers Kun and Ten. Other than Yuta, his friends at the Coffee house he works at, have been the most supportive people about his writing. For instant, when he’d mentioned the party, which was right in the middle of one of his evening shifts, Kun had immediately offered to trade that day and his following morning shift in return for Jeno covering his.

A fair trade off, but it’s plus his normal shift, and sitting down to write for Key, so he’s been too busy to do his normal routine. Which is why he's so surprised to find the message from Jaemin in his Patreon inbox half a week later. It’s not the first time a fan has messaged him, so he'd not really thought much of it when his eye did its usual scan of his account activity, but holy shit when he did read it, he realised one of two things.

  1. Jaemin was the name of his number one fan
  2. They’d been in the same room at the same time recently



How bizarre.

Curiosity had gotten the best of him though so he’d asked why, which Jaemin surprisingly had responded to. An artist at a publishing house's event, but why?

Jeno’s mind had run through a few ideas, a book seemed the most logical. But who would be big enough for a book deal, as an artist? It was an intriguing question, because Jeno didn’t know any artists. Maybe he could ask Yuta if he knew of any, as there too many unknowns to make a good guess himself.

Their latest exchange though makes Jeno feel confused about whether to open up more about his non-soulmate status. As such a big fan of J.Lee’s work, Jeno doesn’t want to be a disappointment to Jaemin. 

 

**_Hi Jaemin_ **

**_Not everyone knows this but were you aware the second you meet you soulmate you feel tingles in your body?_  ** **_But they’re so easy to miss people either ignore them or can’t tell if they did feel anything, and by then it’s too late. Well I met a boy called Haechan at camp when I was 14, and I felt those tingles. We spent a glorious week, falling in love. Well I thought we were, but then he got sick and had to leave quickly. I never got his contact details, and I’ve never met him since._ **

**_So yes, I do think I met my soulmate, but we’re not together or anything. It kinda sucks, and it makes me feel like a fraud, because I think I’m still waiting for him. I’m sorry if this ruins your expectations of me. I just don’t know how to tell people, and you just seem so understanding._ **

**_Thank you for listening to me_ **

**_Jeno_ **

 

Jeno pauses before hitting send. It’s a big deal for him, and he’s opening up about stuff he’s not even told Yuta before. It’s weird but something in him tells him to trust Jaemin, that it will work out okay if he shares. So he does.

*

His pen swoops and swirls as he lets his emotions and thoughts flow through his pen. He wonders briefly if this is what it’s like for an artist like Jaemin. Does he lose control in favour of just allowing it to flow through him naturally or is every paint stroke a precise action?

For Jeno, it’s about channelling his feelings, and just writing what’s there in front of him.

He has three pieces to submit, and his deadline is coming up. Chenle’s been supportive with no pressure, possibly a bit distracted with the whole new soulmate thing.

Jeno sent the piece about him and Jisung to Chenle first before publishing to make sure he was okay it. Cutely Chenle had sent back two tear emojis and a thumbs up. It was the piece Jaemin had thrown a hell of lot of money at, which had made Jeno feel a bit comfortable, but it wasn’t like it was a new thing. Jaemin had been supporting him long before he’d known his real name.

The pieces he’s working on for Key are about three different stages of soulmate-ness.

The first is about the tingles one feel at the moment of meeting and the potential it holds. The second is about the joy of finding each other, and the last one is about looking at what happens as the years pass by. Do you stay in love or does it fade to just a commitment?

Each piece is raw. Jeno’s never been so open with his personal life before, hiding behind J.Lee still, but he’s tapped into more of his own world this time and his own emotions. Rather than showcasing them off from a third-party viewpoint. Each piece is written in first person, and this time he’s used Haechan’s real name. After his conversations with Jaemin, Jeno’s not being able to get the other boy out of his mind.

Desperate for a conclusion to his own doomed fairy tale. Jeno’s trying this as a subtle attempt to draw Haechan out. A little bit of bravery needed to boot. And Jeno feels proud of himself as he sends off the words to Key, who later that week confirms them as perfect entries for the online blog. If only Jeno had known how that simple edit would bring his life into chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas All - however you're spending it I hope you remember you are worthy of love, no matter what. Love yourself as much as you can, & be kind to yourself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have no idea if anyone's actually reading this. Should I continue or let it die? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Expect spelling & grammar errors, I'm really sorry. I just had to post it....was driving me a bit nuts!

### Donghyuck

They’ve been exchanging emails for a few weeks now and to be honest, Donghyuck still can’t quite believe it’s happening. R.J is more amazing than he could ever have imagined and his small crush has been amplified a thousand times now, as he’s begins to get to know the real Renjun.

The cute, snarky and uber geeky, and wonderfully witty, Renjun.

Email is still their only form of communication though. Donghyuck can tell Renjun is feeling nervous about it all, so he’s been trying to reassure him, but Donghyuck doesn’t want to dwell on it too much either. If this is all he gets, Donghyuck doesn’t want to squander it trying to fix it or worrying about things he can’t control. Worrying for Donghyuck only leads to sadness.

The Coven books remain the main focus of their exchanges, but every once in a while, something more precious comes out. Like when Donghyuck learns of Renjun’s love of Moomins. He had to google that one, but of course R.J would be obsessed with something as quirky and cute as himself. In exchange Donghyuck shared his first ever cartoon series he drew when he was 14, of a boy falling in love with someone, and them not being his soulmate. It’s a pretty embarrassing piece of Donghyuck’s past but he doesn’t mind sharing it with Renjun. It feels safe to do so.

Renjun’s last email though makes him wonder about Renjun’s own love life.  

**_Dear Hyuckie,_ **

**_I need your mind. So let me set the scene. Lucas and Jun are trapped in a cave by the Granhyung demon. Jun is about to sacrifice himself for Lucas, because we all know he’s in love with him but………(sorry for the early spoilers) but Lucas is actually goes to trick Jun and sacrifice himself instead to save Jun because he’s finally realised he’s in love with him._ **

**_But do you think this is believable? Or is it too out of the blue? You know these characters as well as I do. I need your opinion. I’m doubting everything._ **

**_R.J_ **

 

Donghyuck sits on the email for a few hours, because if he’s being honest, the thought of Lucas being in love with Jun has completely thrown him. In all the time he’s been illustrating them, he’s never not see something coming, but boy did he not see this coming. Perhaps this is what made Renjun such a wonderful Author to begin with, his ability to pull the carpet out from under you, but something niggles in Donghyuck’s gut. This feels personal and he wants to know why.

 

**_Hey R.J_ **

**_Wow! I guess you really are an amazing author, because I totally did not see that coming. I have to ask though, who is Lucas to you? Because I’ve started to see you in Jun, obviously the name is a bit of a giveaway. But I hope you don’t mind me asking, and you totally don’t need to answer either if you’re uncomfortable._ **

**_Hyuckie_ **

 

The email response comes the next day. Renjun’s hesitance clear, but he tells his story anyway.

 

**_Donghyuck,_ **

**_I guess by now, I shouldn’t be so surprised you figured that out. Another reason I keep my name hidden. The funniest part is that you figured it out in one email, and he hasn’t figured it out in years._ **

**_His name is Yukhei, and I’ve loved him for a long time. We were a lot of each other’s firsts, but he found his soulmate already. I guess when I started this so many years ago, I wanted a little bit of my own happy ending and this was my gift to myself. I know it’s silly and, in all honesty, I don’t love him as much anymore. There’s someone else I like. Though I doubt you’d be able to guess which character he is though :p_**

**_Sorry for the overshare, but it’s so nice to have someone to talk to like this._ **

**_I hope you don’t mind._ **

**_R.J_ **

 

Donghyuck reads the email over and over, trying to figure who the other character is. In some ways, it’s quite romantic that Renjun wanted to write out his own happy ending. He doesn’t judge him for that and tells him so in his response. The words ‘ _there’s someone else I like_ ’ does put him into a little spin though, because in his wildest dreams, it might be him.

Yet he doesn’t, and won’t get, his hopes up. Donghyuck doesn't want to face the pain of rejection, again.

*

A few days after their last exchange, Chenle rings. It’s surprising for Donghyuck as he’s completed his Coven assignments and is currently working on some of the private commissions he takes between books.

A man’s gotta pay his bills somehow.

 _“Hey”_ Chenle’s happy tone comes clear through the speaker. _“What are you doing November 10 th?”_ Donghyuck racks his brain and comes up empty.

 _“Nothing, why?”_ he responds hesitantly.

_“Because Dream Publishing is hosting a book launch for its newest book, from the artist Nana, and I’d like you to be there. With The Last Coven ending soon, I want you to meet some of the authors and editors for your future projects. We need to be prepared for what’s next.”_

The sharp, quick pang in Donghyuck’s heart is caused by two things:

One Chenle’s deep concern for his future. Donghyuck knows Chenle is going above and beyond his position as an editor to take care of him. It’s not his responsibility to get Donghyuck work, but he does it anyway. Donghyuck loves Chenle in this moment more than any time before.

The second thing which makes his heart pang is the idea of not working with Renjun anymore. Granted it’s only become something more recently, but Donghyuck doesn’t want to ever let go. Doesn’t want it to be over. He cradles his phone in his left hand, as he wipes an erroneous tear from his right eye.

_“I love you too Chenle, and of course I’ll be there.”_

He doesn’t really know who this Nana artist is. Maybe he’ll ask Mark if he’s ever heard of him. Mark’s always been way cooler than Donghyuck.

_“Awesome Hyuck. You won’t regret it. Make sure to check out the Company newsletter this week too, there’s a few announcements which are worth a peek. Mostly my projects.”_

Donghyuck can hear the pride in his voice and agrees to do just that. Normally he just deletes them, but this time he’ll give it a go. He wonders if Nana will be in it. Chenle hangs up shortly after, no doubt to ring the 100 other people he needs to, to invite them to the launch. Never a dull day in the office of Chenle.

*

The newsletter comes in late Friday between more emails from Renjun. The author seems worried about doing a good enough job with the final book, but he also seems sad to finish it. Donghyuck has been trying to be as comforting as possible, but it’s not easy as it seems, considering he’s probably as upset. At the top of the newsletter is the announcement about Nana’s book. The title is **_Longing_**. Something in Donghyuck sparks at the title. It’s a word he knows well himself. He wonders why the artist chose it.

After a quick google, this time concerning this Nana, he realises all of Nana’s work is emotionally charged and he’s surprised about how much he likes it. He loves the way the paint swirls across the canvas, and there’s a particular piece entitled **_Soulmate,_** which tugs at his heart strings. He’s suddenly much more excited to go. And perhaps Renjun will be there?

Maybe Jaemin too, if he’s lucky?

Donghyuck’s eyes return to the newsletter, and he scrolls a bit. Some other new book launches he knows nothing about, but at the very bottom there’s a new author bio. Just a name J.Lee with no photo. Joining it is an excerpt from a new poem they’ve published on their latest talent blog. He’s never really been in poems before, but just like the paintings, he feels drawn to it, he clicks and starts to read.

It’s a piece about meeting your Soulmate for the first time. About the tingles and sparks you feel. The more he reads the more he realises how familiar the story sounds, like an old dream he doesn’t really remember but has faint memories of. He dismisses the idea and continues to read, but then on the last line, he reads a name he didn’t think he would ever see again. A name he conjured out of thin air one summer, when he wanted to be anyone but himself.

Haechan. J.Lee thinks his soulmate was a boy of 14 called Haechan.

J.Lee thinks Donghyuck is his soulmate.

Donghyuck knows exactly who J.Lee is, because once upon a time, he too thought he was falling in a love, but for him it was with a boy named Jeno Lee. 

  


### Renjun

Sharing with Donghyuck has become an addictive habit.

He’s never had someone whose close enough to him that he can spill his secrets to, but be far away enough that it doesn’t set off his anxiety. It’s a blessing and a curse though, because the more he talks to Donghyuck the more he likes him. The fact he told him about Yukhei was evidence enough that he trusted him more than he’s ever really trusted anyone.  Not even Chenle knows that Lucas is Yukhei. It’s been pretty weird writing out this story line, because he’s not really doing it for himself anymore. He’s doing it for the characters, for what they deserve. Renjun’s been building to this story line for 8 books now, he can’t do his characters dirty like that. It would be a betrayal.

Sometimes when he’s particularly lonely, Renjun thinks about who each of the character’s in his books reminds him of the people in his life, and those who seemingly came out of nowhere, but now feel like people he should know.

To start there’s the already stated Lucas as Yukhei. The fun, boisterous boy who is always there for his friends and his Coven. Lucas has been a strong and fully formed character throughout the series. Keeping them all together when they’ve almost fallen apart. It’s only really through Lucas’s own difficult story line in the 8th book that allows for the Coven to break at all, which is the theme for the final 9th book.

**_The Last Coven: The Circle Breaks._ **

Then there’s Jun, who he evidently moulded around his own image according to Donghyuck, but in the stories, Jun doesn’t suffer as badly from social anxiety as Renjun does in real life. In fact, Jun is the creative and smart one of the Coven. The one who often figures out the key piece of information to solve the situation at hand. He’s quieter than the rest of the Coven, and throughout the entire series, he is the only one whose never been in a relationship. Of course, Lucas has interrogated him a number of times over the years as to why this is the case, but as the audience knows, Jun is irrevocably in love with Lucas and will never tell him, because Lucas is with Will.

Ahh Will, the nicest boy in the Coven. Really in the beginning Will wasn’t a very filled out character, because Renjun crafted him from the memory of a boy Yukhei and he knew growing up, a boy called Joshua but as time passed, he realised Will was more like Jungwoo and that Will and Lucas should be together. Many of the moments Renjun witnessed of his best friend and his soulmate in real life ended up happening between the mirror pair in the book. Oblivious as Yukhei has remained over the years, Jungwoo sometimes gives him this look which makes Renjun nervous. The look which makes Renjun think Jungwoo can see through his soul and right through him. It scares Renjun.

Maybe Jungwoo knows who Will and Lucas are. Thankfully though he’s never voice any such thoughts, and Renjun hopes he never will. It would ruin their friendship, perhaps that’s why Jungwoo has never said anything. Like it’s the only gift Jungwoo can think of giving him after taking Yukhei from him. In the books, Will takes care of the boys of the coven in an emotional sense. He’s often the one the other members talk to about their love lives, and about how they feel being part of this great destiny, as The Last Coven. The unofficial therapist of the group. Renjun can’t bring himself to hate Will, or Jungwoo, they’re too nice. He even feels bad about making Lucas fall out of love with Will, but he reminds himself, it’s just a story.

Nana is Nate. Well what Renjun knows of him. He’s the slightly dramatic, moody and artistic member of the coven. Him and Reuben are responsible for most of the Coven’s spells, because it takes an artist’s creativity to work with the elements and create beauty.

He is as beautiful as Renjun remembers Nana to be. Over the years though he’s sometimes struggled to create a character off someone he barely knows, so he's used a lot of creative licence with Nana’s alter ego Nate. To get more inspiration over the years, he's visited Nana’s shows to tap into the artist’s feelings. It’s a bit stalker-y, but Renjun figures as long as he maintains a respectful distance and doesn’t try to meet Nana, he’s okay. Aren’t all characters just a part you and part of someone you know?

Nate over the years has really struggled with accepting himself, and in particular struggled with the fact he’s been in love with a werewolf since book three. In this world, witches and werewolves don’t mix. That’s always been the law of the land, but to Nate, Samara, was someone over time he’s realised he couldn’t live without. He’d tried to in Book 5, but after rejecting her, he'd sunk into depression and was taken over by a Phanex ghoul. Only thanks to Samara realising and telling them rest of the Coven, were they able to save him.

Sometimes people just loved who they loved, no matter their differences.

His fellow creative in the story, Reuben, was almost the opposite of Nate is every way, but they were still best friends. In the Coven books, they are the oldest friends between the 7. Their parents both having been part of a previous Coven many years ago. One that did not survive.

Reuben is like the sun. He brings light and laughter to the seven boy's lives, and he was the one who brought the 7 together in the first place. Similar to Will, Reuben’s character was created after a need in the story. This time it was to have an instigator for the boys to form the Coven, but he was never based on anyone Renjun knew, well until he started working with Donghyuck. From writing the second book, every time Renjun wrote Reuben he thought of Donghyuck. Passionate, creative, hard working Donghyuck. It felt fitting to have him in the story. It’s been hard in this final book though, not to change his character too much, based off his interactions with the real man.

Lastly, but not least, there was Dean, who was based on no-one, but yet for Renjun, he still felt so familiar. It’s strange. Dean is the serious one of the bunch. He’s responsible and keeps them safe when Lucas or Nate want to do something stupid. He’s quieter than most of the coven, similar to Jun, but has a confidence Jun doesn’t have. As well as being observant and in touch with his emotions in a way Jun could never be.

It’s the reason Dean could even see the fairy he fell for in book seven. A love story that was a long time coming. The fans on Tumblr had been up in arms since book four about it, demanding Dean find someone to love. That he was precious and deserved it. Renjun agreed but knew it would need to be a special love story. So he introduced Ellerinod. Neither a female nor male fairy character in book five to see their reaction. The audience loved them, and thus he'd he allowed their love to grow. Sometimes you couldn’t be sure how your audience might react to your more, let’s say more unusual plot lines. Funnily enough, Ellerinod and Dean have become the most stable and happy couple in the series.

And that’s them. His boys, his whole life really. He loves them like his own friends, and he doesn’t know what he’ll do when the series ends. At least his character’s will get the happy endings they deserve.

*

 

A few days later Renjun is being brave and ventures out into the wider world. Chenle had text asking him to meet for a coffee, stating it was personal (mostly), so Renjun had taken him up on the offer. He’s been cooped up for too long, obsessed with getting Book 9 written, but as Yukhei often put it, Renjun had to live a little to ensure his character’s were as real as they could be. He does listen, sometimes.

The coffee place Chenle has chosen is very instagrammable, with cute characters on the cupcakes which are also drawn into the top of the coffee’s. Renjun smiles, as it’s been a while since they properly caught up, and he’s keen to hear about Chenle’s newly discovered soulmate. Of course, Renjun’s met Jisung before, but it’s different now, or at least that’s what they say.

 _“So spill”_ he impatiently asks the blonde editor in front of him.

Chenle finishes his sip of his obnoxiously bright pink milkshake with all the toppings under the sun and shows a shy smile. “ _It’s kind of wonderful actually. It makes it so much easier, because I know him so well, and I just love him.”_   It’s endearing to see Chenle so sweet on his soulmate. Renjun’s really happy for him and encourages him to keep talking. If anything, it’s great fodder for his writing.

_“He’s still the same snarky, smart-ass, I’ve always been friends with, and I’ve always known how soft he was underneath, so many moments when he showed me his vulnerability, but now it’s like different, because he’s not shy about showing me his soft side. It’s like he’s finally his whole true complete self and it’s incredible. I know it’s quick, but he’s going to move into my place soon. It’s been a real hassle going from place to place and it seems stupid to have one apartment empty all the time, especially because when I’m not working, I just want to be with him all the time.”_

Chenle lets out a big breath and his eyes sparkle. Renjun feels an ache of jealously, but he doesn’t let it show. He’s a better friend than that. Chenle is such a good person to so many, an amazing editor, taking care of so many people’s dreams. He deserves it all, but the thought of a soft Jisung makes him giggle. So he lets a soft laugh out, and Chenle cheeks go pink.

 _“I’m really happy for you Chenle.”_   It’s the truth.

 _“What else is going on?”_ Renjun continues the conversation, it’s easy with Chenle. Never having to think hard about what to say next. Renjun guesses it’s the same with Donghyuck too now.

 _“Well I wanted to invite you in person, because I know you’re such a big fan.”_ Renjun’s ears perk up at the mention of the word fan. There’s only one person he ever talks about in that manner…could it be… _“Nana is having a book launch party on November 10 th. Would you like to come? I know it’s not your usua….”_

_“Yes”_

The short sharp word forces itself out of his chest before Chenle can finish his sentence. He burns red with embarrassment for being so eager, but this is Nana. This is the person who makes him cry with just four colours and a canvas. Chenle laughs in his face. Payback for Renjun laughing earlier.

_“I thought you might. Okay – so just to warn you, he’ll be there in his capacity as Nana and I can’t tell you his real name or anything. You two are eerily similar in your obsession with privacy. There’s going to be a small after party, but Nana said he couldn’t make it, so it’s up to you if you wanna come. Also Donghyuck is coming.”_

It’s a lot of information at once, and Renjun takes a moment to process what he’s just heard. Nana, Donghyuck and a party. Goodness. It’s almost like Chenle is pushing his off the cliff straight into civilisation, though he can’t deny how tempted he is not only to see Nana once again, and also Donghyuck.

“ _When is it again?”_ he asks, having completely missed the date of his impending doom.

Chenle shares a knowing smile, and answers quickly. The conversation moves on, but Renjun already knows what’s going to happen. He’ll have to warn Donghyuck, but otherwise he feels the thrum of excitement in his veins.

Nana.

Donghyuck.

Renjun.

It’s going to be one hell of a night.

  


### Jaemin

The stress of the impending book party is making him want to tear his hair out. Jaemin’s been working almost obsessively on getting the book pieces together and has actually surprised to find over 50% of the pieces he needed in his stock room already. Doyoung had been his usual smug self of course, when Jaemin had finally admitted about the realisation. The silver lining though, is that it means less work needed to be done. The project will feature some of his most famous works, with writing to accompany them. The pieces already done and have been shipped for photographing.

Additionally Chenle has hired a ghost writer, who had been on the phone with Jaemin a few times, teasing out the stores behind the paintings. The proposed writing so far had been really good. Jaemin is surprised at how fast it’s come together. The company didn’t want to waste time it seemed, and wanted to capitalise on Nana’s growing fame, meaning the launch was planned for 10th November. A lot earlier than previously guess, but Jaemin wasn’t going to complain, as it left him free way earlier. Though it was a hell of a lot of work to do in such a short period of time.

The biggest downside to all of the work is he doesn't have much chance to talk with Jeno, however much he wants to. They’ve exchanged a couple of messages, having now switched to email. Jaemin gave Jeno his personal email early on, praying Jeno was trustworthy enough. So far, so good. Last night though, Jeno had sent a link to some of his new work, which had been published on the new talent blog for Dream. The big reveal was Jeno was going to be published by them also. Jaemin was in awe of the young poet and glad Dream could see talent where it lived. Chenle probably had something to do with it, for sure.

The works themselves had been captivating, and a little heart breaking for Jaemin. The boy in the story, Haechan, must be the one Jeno told him about. The one who got away. In all honesty, Jaemin’s not sure he can stand the fact that Jeno is still in love with someone else.

*

Two weeks before the party, Chenle calls to discuss the details of the launch. He is to attend the launch as Nana but there’s an offer on the table to attend an after party as Jaemin. If he wants to. It’s sweet of the younger editor, reminding him that Chenle truly understands Jaemin. In response, Jaemin asks for Jeno to be invited also, to both events. Chenle doesn’t hesitate to agree, and only gives one raised eyebrow when Jaemin asks to remain anonymous behind the invite.

Jaemin doesn’t even have to bring it up to Jeno, because Jeno does in his next email.

 

**_Jaemin,_ **

**_Guess what? I got invited to a fancy book launch by this really cool artist Nana. Have you heard of him? I hadn’t so I googled the shit out of him and oh my god, he’s so incredible. The weirdest part is that his works really remind me of something, but I can’t put my finger on it. Have you ever felt something like that? Like Deja-Vu but you know for sure it’s not something you’ve ever experienced._ **

**_His art is just something else. Stupid me, you’re an artist too. You must have heard of him. Do you guys ever get together and talk about all things art-y? Omg I’m so stupid, but I’m just so excited. Will you be going to? I got invited to some kind of after party too. Chenle said a few people were going. It would be amazing to meet you in real life and thank you for all the support._ **

**_Jeno_ **

 

Jaemin can’t keep the smile from his lips, as he reads Jeno’s wildly enthusiastic email. It’s actually pretty cute, and the fact Jeno thinks his art is incredible only makes Jaemin’s heart swell up. He hasn’t felt this way about anyone before.  The idea of meeting Jeno in person makes Jaemin nervous though. What if Jeno doesn’t like Jaemin? What if he only likes Nana? His biggest anxieties come crashing down around him the more he narrows in on the idea that Jeno won’t like him. The thoughts spiral in. He tries to stop them but to no avail. Jaemin can only curl up in the corner of his studio on the very futon Doyoung set out, and he just stares at the white walls. Praying for the anxiety to go away.

Why can’t he just be normal?

Doyoung finds him 2 hours later. He hasn’t moved from his spot and his muscles are aching, but when he becomes like this, it’s like an alien takes over his body and he no longer has control. Jeno’s words _‘he’s incredible’_ have just gone around and round in his mind, feeding into his worst nightmares.

 _“Jaemin, I’m going to pick you up now and take you to your room. Is that ok?”_ Doyoung’s words are soft, but authoritative. They need to be for Jaemin to be able to respond to them.

Jaemin looks up at his would-be saviour but can’t maintain eye contact. He’s pathetic. Jaemin nods his agreement and feels Doyoung’s strong arms scoop under his own wiry legs and soft back. Jaemin wasn’t made to be strong. Their movement across the studio is swift. Doyoung makes his way through the kitchen area towards Jaemin’s bedroom, which is across the house. Jaemin’s never been fond of stairs, so he brought the biggest house he could, which had none of them.

Doyoung places him softly on his dark green bed sheets, and places the covers over his shoulders, as it were a child being tucked into bed. _“Don’t feel too bad. Everyone has their bad days, and you’re only human Jaemin. Rest, okay.”_

The door clicks softly behind him as Dyoung leaves Jaemin alone in his thoughts once more, but this time slumber takes him, as he’s exhausted from his brain constantly berating him for not being good enough.

Jeno’s pretty smile comes to mind, he falls asleep smiling.

  


### Jeno

_A meeting of souls, hearts entwined, but why did you leave?_

_Left me half of a whole. You were the sun, and I the moon._

_Come home to me Haechan, it’s time for the eclipse._

 

Jeno has become a bit obsessive over his latest work. Since the poems went live on the Dream blog, his Tumblr hits have gone nuts.

If he thought he was popular before, it’s nothing compared to the numbers now. The power of corporations, well at least the influence. He’s been trying to post something each week since to keep his followers happy, but he’s been a bit distracted by the reaction to his first poem, the one which mentions Haechan. It seems that one really caught the attention of his fans. In fact, they’ve all become a little obsessed with helping him figure out who Haechan might be.

The thing he’s more concerned about however is the lack of response from Jaemin since he sent the message about how excited he was for Nana’s party. It’s been radio silence, and that was a week ago. He didn’t say anything too bad, did he? He’d asked Yuta to double check, who confirmed it was fine. The party in question is at the weekend, and it just seems so odd that Jaemin would react so strongly to that. It makes Jeno wonder, and not for the first time, whether Jaemin is closer to Nana than he’s suggested.

As in, what if Jaemin is Nana?

It would explain why Jaemin was at that party that night. The clues all point towards it, but Jeno doesn’t want to say anything about it. It’s obviously something Nana/Jaemin wants to keeps to himself, and Jeno knows how important secrecy is to people like them. People who want to be seen as more than their art.

He decides to send another email, to apologise if he offended him.

 

**_Hey Jaemin_ **

**_I hope you’re okay? I haven’t heard from you in a few days_ _☹ So I just wanted to say, I hope I didn’t say anything to upset you. And really just that I think you’re pretty great yourself. I’m really glad you’re my friend Jaemin, okay soppy stuff over._**

**_Thanks for always being there for me. Okay a bit more._ **

**_Jeno_**

 

It’s not a lot, and it’s incredibly cryptic, but Jeno hopes it gets his message across.

Work calls, and he heads out. Though today is gonna be pretty epic. Today is the day he gets to put his notice in at work, because this morning a package from Dream Publishing arrived, containing his new contract with them. Including an advance that will allow Jeno 6 months of living. He’d panicked at first, but Yuta had encouraged him to take the leap and put his time and effort into his writing. Saying a job was a job, and something he could always get, but this was a chance to follow his heart.

Jeno had decided to take the leap. Knowing if people like Jaemin, Yuta, Chenle and even Key believed in him. Then maybe he was better than he thought, and maybe just maybe, he could show it to them.

*

**_Jeno,_ **

**_I’m sorry for not replying. Please don’t be worried, it wasn’t your fault. I’ve been unwell and swamped with work around that. But thank you for saying that. I think you’re pretty great too._ **

**_To answer your question, yes, I’ll be going to but only to the after party. I guess I’ll see you there?_ **

**_Thank You for being you_ **

**_Jae_ **

 

Jaemin’s response is short but sweet and makes Jeno feel things he doesn’t understand. He’s in love with Haechan…he can’t be having feelings for someone else. A man he barely knows. It doesn’t make any sense. But yet, Jeno’s been studying soulmates his entire life. This is his bread and butter. Maybe Jeno was wrong about Haechan? Is that even possible? Could Jaemin be his soulmate? So many questions, and only time would reveal the answers.

*

This time there’s no dress code. Chenle only mentioned semi-formal to Jeno but tacked on that even though others would probably be more relaxed, it may be wise for Jeno to look presentable. Some of the Dream bigwigs would be around, and probably very keen to talk to him. Jeno’s nerves were at an all-time high.

Meeting Jaemin in the flesh seemed too good to be true, but first the book launch.

On arrival to the venue, an old home which had been cleared out of all its décor and painted completed white. A bit jarring in all honesty, but it did make Nana’s art stand out. Each room has two pieces in, paired with similar-esk styles. On the way in, Jeno had picked up a small leaflet, which explained all the art was to go for auction at the end of the launch and all proceeds to charity. Specifically a charity which focused on helping under privileged children explore their creative passion.

Another thing that sounded so very Jaemin.

Jeno wanders from room to room, eventually venturing into a room that only has one piece of art. A piece called **Soulmates** , and it blows Jeno’s heart away. Never before has he seen anything so beautiful or something that creates such powerful emotions within him. The feelings are similar to those that he tries to channel when he writes. Nana has encapsulated longing perfectly in this work.

He stares at it for minutes and minutes, not noticing people coming and going.

There are four colours in this piece: A deep red, a vibrant blue, a serpent green and a decadent purple. The colours blend together in perfect harmony. In particular he feels very attached to the blue, almost as if the colour is calling to his soul. Pulling him in like a siren. He’s so absorbed in the work he doesn’t hear the footsteps which stop beside him, but the sigh which echoes around the small space pulls him out of his trance. The stranger, who Jeno is yet to look at, speaks quietly.

_“It’s my favourite too. I don’t know why, but I googled it, and loved it. Though it’s even better in real life. I wish I could take it home. I could stare at it for hours.”_

The voice startles Jeno, not because of the man’s words, but more of how the voice sounds. It’s a voice he’s definitely heard before, but he’s afraid to look properly. It’s been so long. Maybe after all these weeks of pining, he’s finally losing his marbles. Instead only his eyes flick to the side, and Jeno can see the silhouette of a man, whose shorter than him, but has the most gorgeous brown hair. Jeno can’t see the eyes though, and that’s what will confirm his suspicions.

Jeno’s frozen.

Finally he manages to respond, _“It’s incredible. I can’t take my eyes away from it."_   The man beside him chuckles. _“I can see that, the name’s Donghyuck by the way.”_   It’s a different name. It’s not him. Jeno let’s out a deep breathe, and feels his body relax as he turns his eyes and his body towards the friendly, gorgeous man beside him.

_“Jeno Lee at your service”_

But his words fall flat because all he can do is stare at the man beside him. His temporary relief gone, because he was wrong the second time. This is a person he knows. Different but fundamentally the same. The face looking at him, looks at shocked as he feels, and finally Jeno utters the name that’s been on his mind for so many years.

_“Haechan?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desperately need feedback on this story. So let me know what you think!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back - ooomfph!!! This is always a beast to write. I hope it makes sense. It's long burn, but also not haha. Do you like that? 
> 
> I also went back and edited some of the writing in previous chapters, making sure things all made sense. Not many changes, but I think it was for the best. It's hard keeping tracking of 4 main characters....haha!
> 
> Enjoy :) Hit me up on TW - @na_emily

### Donghyuck

Donghyuck enters the house in high anticipation. The thought of seeing that Soulmate piece in the flesh is giving him Goosebumps. In admsit his small obsession with it, he’d read up on some basic stuff about it online.

The most surprising fact being the artist himself admitted being unsure about where the inspiration for it came from and having no idea why there were in fact four colours, not the traditionally expected two. Still Donghyuck knew the detail of the piece would come alive in the flesh. With each paint stroke becoming a work of art itself. Excitement trembled through his veins. He really has no idea himself, why he feels so strongly pulled to it, but he’s giving into it.

Maybe there’s finally a bit of magic happening in his real life? He jokes to himself.

The piece is indeed made up of four bold colours, but it’s only the Red Donghyuck really sees. How it starts so strong, and then fades into the background of the other three colours. The blue being the most vibrant, followed by the purple and the green in equal measure. The red in reality looks a little pathetic in his eyes, making Donghyuck feel sad and he doesn’t know why.

Unable to remain silent anymore for fear of bursting into tears, Donghyuck talks out loud to the room, knowing there is only one other person in the room. A stranger who appears to be as entranced as Donghyuck by the work.

_“It’s my favourite. I don’t know why, but I googled it, and it’s even better in real life. I wish I could take it home. I could stare at it for hours.”_

The wait for the response takes longer than Donghyuck’s expecting, and when it comes, he’s feels a strong affinity for the stranger. _“It’s incredible. I can’t take my eyes away from it.”_   Moving his eyes away from the piece, he turns to face the man who replied, to introduce himself properly.

 _“I can see that, the name’s Donghyuck by the way.”_ Feeling emboldened he smiles wide, flirting slightly, but then he catches on that the stranger isn’t even looking at him, and oh…oh from his side profile, he looks vaguely familiar too.

Memories of the Dream event surface and he realises this is the stranger who was speaking to Renjun in the middle of the floorspace. Jealously spikes in Donghyuck’s chest. He doubts their fragile relationship. Does he even know who Renjun really is? Or is he just another one of the thousands of clueless people who yearn to know infamous R.J.

Donghyuck had felt so special, but maybe he’s not as special as he believed.

The stranger introduces himself, and Donghyuck realises there’s a whole other reason he should recognise this profile. A friendly introduction is given, followed by the name that’s been haunting his dreams for days, since he opened that damned newsletter.

_“Haechan?”_

It doesn’t feel real. Donghyuck glances around the room, seeing no-one but himself and the not-so-strange stranger. Jeno Lee has grown up well, Donghyuck determines. The boy who was once shorter than him, is now towering over Donghyuck’s shorter frame, and the once glossing black hair, has been replaced by an almost white blonde style that suits Jeno effortlessly.

The other man is a boy no longer and is in fact dressed up fairly smartly tonight. Sporting smart jeans with a tailored navy blazer. Was Jeno trying to impress someone?

Other thoughts tumble in after. Like has Jeno found his soulmate already? He’s the poet who talks of nothing but soulmates after all, he must have met them. The poem’s Donghyuck read after the first implied he had. Didn’t they? It’s strange on how his mind fixates on the question as to whether Jeno has met his soulmate or not.

And with the likely hood of the answer being affirmative, Donghyuck feels one more of his fragile dreams dissolve into nothingness, like the dust it was built on. Mark is going to have a field-day with this information, and probably lose his nut with excitement at the prospect of Donghyuck finally meeting Jeno Lee again. The only other boy who’s made Donghyuck’s stomach tingle with butterflies and made him laugh so much, that he must’ve created a thousand faeries.

 _“Haechan, are you okay?”_ Jeno’s concerned tone snaps Donghyuck out of his small mind explosion. He’s not sure what to do, or how to respond to Jeno, so he starts simply, _“Hey Jeno, it’s Donghyuck by the way.”_

Jeno’s face throws up confusion for a moment until it clears, and then he chuckles softly. Donghyuck throws a questioning, slightly aggressive shoulder hike, Jeno’s way trying to hiding his vulnerability _._ He doesn’t like to be laughed at. It reminds him too much of school. When kids were crueller than anything.

 _“Sorry, but only you would use a different name at a summer camp. I’ve looked for you so long, you’ve no idea and to think, I didn’t even have the right name in the first place.”_ Jeno’s face, which was smiling only moments before, drops into a frown and Donghyuck’s heart plummets into his stomach.

Fuck. He doesn’t like this feeling. Whatever it is. Should he joke like Haechan would’ve or does he apologise like Donghyuck can?

_“I thought it was cool, and once I started with it, I felt too silly to tell people, and you, the truth. I was embarrassed. I’m sorry. And then I got sick and I didn’t have time to tell you. It was shit of me.”_

The truth it is. Jeno looks less upset, even happy maybe, Donghyuck feels a release of feelings he didn’t know he was holding onto. Maybe he’s been carrying that longer than he knew. _“I can’t believe you’re really here in front of me,”_ Jeno half whispers in amazement, but his words don’t really cover the magnitude of the moment, Donghyuck thinks. He’s not really a man of words but hold shit. The fact the two of them have ended up in the same place at the same time, enraptured by the painting, is kind of bloody incredible. He truly believed he would never see him again, and yes, Jeno had reached out, but it felt so hard before. Now it just feels okay. Like he can do this. Maybe.

 _“Have dinner with me?”_ Jeno asks with hopefulness oozing out, saturating Donghyuck in it.

 _“Dinner with me? What would your soulmate say?”_ He jokes back teasingly, not expecting the honesty of Jeno’s response. 

_“I’ve never been in Love Donghyuck.”_

But it doesn’t make sense, how can Jeno not have been in love? Donghyuck always remembered him as the sweetest and most lovable boy. It’s strange the idea that he’s not been in love, because that means he’s not with his soulmate and Donghyuck doesn’t know how to feel about that either. Surely, he’s not been waiting for Haechan all these years.

Jeno doesn’t think Donghyuck is his soulmate, does he? The weight of a hundred beautiful poems fall heavily on his shoulders. How could he ever live up to the expectation of who Jeno believed him to be?

And what about Renjun. Donghyuck loves Renjun, doesn’t he?

Part of him screams to accept, the other wants to run. Jeno looks imploringly at him but doesn’t say anything. Obviously trying to play it cool but failing miserably. His emotions lay plain as day on his face. He likes Donghyuck.

Somewhere, tucked away in a long-hidden dark corner of his heart, a little voice tells Donghyuck to say yes, so he does. Jeno’s face lights up like it’s Christmas day and Donghyuck’s just given him the best gift ever.

 _“Tomorrow okay? I’ve got a party to go to after this_.” Jeno is busy making plans, and it’s only a few seconds after agreeing, that Donghyuck realises it’s probably the same afterparty he’s been invited to. He embraces the coincidence and goes for it.

 _“Me too. Shall we go together? I’ve got to meet some people Chenle wants to introduce to me, and then we can head over in my car at 10pm_?” Donghyuck suggests. Jeno smiles and nods.

Taking one last look at the painting, realising suddenly that the Red no longer looks as faded as it did before, Donghyuck makes to leave. He’s late already. With a final look to where Jeno is standing by the painting, face turned in awe once again to the painting which has bought them together again, he leaves the room.

Briefly he wonders, what else this night has in store for him.  

  
  
  


### Renjun

He’s been a bundle of nerves all day. The prospect of meeting Nana sending his anxiety into overdrive, but there’s also excitement.

This isn’t like the times before when he’d attended Nana events as a fan, this time he’s a colleague in a way. It makes a difference, well to Renjun it does. Plus he knows Donghyuck will be at the party too. That prospect is also sending waves of tingles to all his neurons and nerve endings. But Donghyuck is more of a known factor though. After all their back and forth, Renjun feels like he knows Donghyuck just a bit. A man who always has encouraging words for Renjun, especially when he’s at the end of his tether with characters who don’t want to play ball. Donghyuck is man who listens when Renjun whispers his scariest, soul wrenching fears. The ones where he will amount to nothing more being a silly writer who wrote a series of children’s books in his youth. Or the worst, that he’ll never be able to write again. Thoughts of Harper Lee haunt his regularly.

Yukhei used to be the one Renjun turned to when his nightmares creeped into his waking hours, but with every step he’s taken towards Donghyuck, it seems he’s also being taking one step away from his best friend. There’s only been a few texts here and there from Yukhei over the past month. Yukhei isn’t really missing him. Maybe it’s for the best.

At Nana’s charity auction tonight, Renjun plans to buy the Soulmate artwork. It’s never been available to be purchased before, but ever since he saw it 5 years ago at that show in the downtown art gallery, he’s been desperate to have it. Even then the interwoven snakes of colour called to him, with the serpent green enticing him the most. He loved then how the purple was of equalled and balanced to the green. It just felt right to buy it today.

Tonight it would be his. Even if Nana never can be.

*

Pulling the sleeves of his soft grey blazer down, Renjun checks himself once more in his long mirror on his way out of the flat. He leaves so rarely that the mirror is normally covered with jumpers and scarves hanging from its edges, but he’d cleared them all off to get a good look at his chosen outfit. Thankfully it’s another Yukhei special.

Why his best friend ever thought Renjun would need a tweed style grey jacket, and green trousers is a mystery to the author but he’s thankfully anyway. Tonight he’s been brave and also styled it with a white Chanel t-shirt he found tucked away in his mystical wardrobe. Fortune favours the bold after all. Truly rummaging around his wardrobe is a bit like visiting Disneyland for someone who loves fashion, which Renjun doesn’t but it’s still pretty fun.

Renjun wonders what Donghyuck would think of it, and what he’ll think of his outfit this evening. Chenle recommended comfy casual, and really this is the only presentable looking comfy clothes he owns. So it’ll have to do.

Ping. Renjun’s phone lets him know his Uber Black has arrived, but he’s scheduled it to drop him off around the corner from the venue. The last thing he needs is for people to get suspicious. Renjun wants to have fun and dive into his passion for Nana’s art. He needs to to be someone else for a moment. Sometimes he likes to acts out being a more confident person, a more fashionable person. Like how he imagines Donghyuck to be, considering his outfit at the party, or maybe Nana, who although very relaxed, always has a cool sense of style at his events.

He arrives at 8pm, the party having opened an hour earlier. Renjun hates being the first person anywhere. The small talk required to fill the empty physical spaces scaring him silly. So instead he arrives late.

Nana’s event is packed with a slightly different crowd than usual. Of course, the usual cohort of artists, eyeing up the fellow talent, are here. There are also the art collectors, working for people across the world, who want a piece of the infamous Nana. Then the usual art admirers, like Renjun, who are here because they love what Nana is trying to say in his work. They are the ones who stare for hours and walk away feeling like they understood nothing at all.

The new portion are unknown to Renjun, but he imagines they must be the people interested in the book, or perhaps work for the charity. Nana isn’t here yet, and Renjun knows he probably won’t arrive until after 9pm. Elusive as always. Possibly he will announce the auction, see that through and then leave.

Renjun’s never purchased art before, and as much as he wants to do it himself, it’s too much of a risk to bid, so he’s hired a professional to secure it. On entry, he’d already spied the tell-tale pin, which indicated his buyer-in-stead for tonight. He’s given no budget. His bank account allows for it, he spends so rarely.

This is a treat for his heart and soul. He needs it badly. His life’s work is nearly over.

Curiosity spikes in his chest, as thoughts of piece come to the surface of his consciousness. He wants to see it one more time in situ, where it really belongs with the other paintings. Part of him feels bad, but if Nana is ready to sell it, then Renjun is ready to buy it. The room is empty when he enters. The biggest one of all the rooms to house the house the most important painting. The whitened walls are eerie, but pure. The art is the show here.

He steps in and goes back in time to the very first time he met Nana. He thinks.

In the memory, Renjun is in a small art gallery, an underground place with exposed bricks decor and remnants of peeling plaster. Hipster as it could get. Though it suited Nana’s earlier work perfectly.

He remembers, being so captivated by the Soulmate piece, that he’d not looked at another one the entire night. Renjun knows now that even for an art lover, his had displayed weird behaviour. His only defence was his screaming soul begging to stay. To try and figure out what it meant, because it was going to drive him mad for years to come.

Why did it make him want to cry? As well as laugh, smile and see everything around him burn. He still doesn’t know to this day.

A stranger had approached that night just before the show was due to end. At the time Renjun had thought he’d been one of the gallery owners, especially when he’d asked Renjun if he needed more time. Renjun had shaken his head, knowing he had to pull himself away eventually.

But he did share the one thought he couldn’t get out of his head.

_“I want to both burn it and never take my eyes off it.”_

The stranger had looked at him with fiery eyes, and in the half darkness, Renjun had felt a tingle just before the owner of the fire eyes, had pulled away stating it wasn’t for sale and to thank him for coming.

His past self didn’t know then that that response wasn’t of someone selling the art. Rather it was of someone who hated the art in front of him. Someone who cared too much about what someone else said about it.

Renjun had met a stranger that night, but in his heart, he knew it had been Nana.

In the present, Renjun feels himself caught up once again, in the same painting. A feeing of Deja-vu washing over him. Five years later though, it feels like a different piece. The colours aren’t the same, somehow, they are more vibrant. Back then they’d felt dark, lonely and twisted out of place. Now they felt stronger on the canvas. The red, blue, purple and green blending together in harmony, but separate in their own glory. Why did he want to burn it all those years ago? He doesn’t know, but it’d had been such a powerful intrusive thought. Now he just wants to cherish it.

Renjun’s so absorbed in the art, he only hears the footsteps as they walk away. He turns and catches sight of a familiar lone figure. One that is wearing a mask, a baseball cap, paired with black ripped jeans, and a purple checked shirt open, half tucked in, with a black t-shirt underneath. Stylish and understated. That’s how Renjun always describes Nana.

Renjun doesn’t follow him, giving the artist the space he evidently wants. Glancing at his watch, Renjun realises the auction is due to begin in 10 minutes. He wants to be there. Even if he’s not bidding directly tonight, this is the most fun he’s had in ages. Renjun wants a front row seat.

  
  
  


### Jaemin

That man. Jaemin knows he’s seen him before, probably countless times. Always appearing late at events, staring at his paintings, not buying anything, and then leaving.

But tonight seeing him stare at the same painting, which haunts his nightmares, has sparked a new memory of a boy, who felt what Jaemin felt looking at that painting. Like it needed to be burnt to the ground. It was ugly, yet beautiful and one of his most famous pieces. Probably why Doyoung has never let him get rid of it, no matter how much he begged. Back when he was a newbie in the art world. It had been for sale until that boy, a man now clearly, had made him realise how much he despised it. And that selling it was a mistake.

So he’d kept it.

Longing for the day he could meet his own soulmate. To understand why the painting had four colours, not two. Was it because Jaemin was a fractured soul himself? Or that he was so broken inside he didn’t have a soulmate. It had never made sense to him, clearly still didn’t, but it worked perfectly for the book, so he’d made the decision to finally let it go. The proceeds going to a good cause eased the transition somewhat. Soothing his soul with the knowledge he’d never have to see it again.

Be gone with the cursed thing.

Jaemin thought of the fan, who’d been loyally by his side all these years. One of the few who’d seen his face, and maybe knew who he truly was, but had never told another soul. A fan who had given Jaemin hope, and the chance to become Nana. A ghost with something to say. The pre-release of the book had all gone down well, but what mattered more to Jaemin was the public opinion, and those reviews would only be published tomorrow. He had inkling it would be okay, but there was still doubt in his mind, even to this day. That his fans would finally realise he was a fraud, and unworthy of their time and admiration.

It’s partly his depression that makes him feel this way, but also the artist in him that knows eventually they will move onto someone new. Such is the world of popularity and fame. Nana will be forgotten and Jaemin left alone. Fairy tales don’t exist in reality.

Chenle had told him a few days ago that his own role at the event would be to thank everyone for coming to his book launch party, and to officially open the art auction. It was up to him if he said anything additional. He didn’t, and the bidding began.

In total there was 11 pieces up for auction. All works he either loved or hated. There was no in in-between. Soulmates was up last, so he watched the carnage from the side of the makeshift stage. It didn’t take long to spot his well-known stranger in the front row, as always not buying anything, but attentive and eager to see each piece. Jaemin always thought he was a bit of an oddity. Saying that, he always really looked at Nana’s art, like he tried to understand it and anyone who tried to do that was someone Jaemin liked. Because it meant they wanted to know his art, not his fame.

Half-way through Jaemin thinks he spots a familiar flash of blonde hair and a cheeky smile, but he’s not sure. It’s a big crowd and Jaemin doesn’t know if Jeno made it to the party. He hopes he did. The idea of Jeno seeing his art makes his stomach do tumbles. Jaemin wonders if Jeno knows how many of his recent works he’s inspired. Probably not. There’s one piece here tonight in particular, Jaemin created after seeing Jeno for the first time. Longing in Secret it was titled. Soon enough it’s the final bid. The other pieces have all gone for between £30,000 and £120,000. Nothing unusual for Nana. It’s the Soulmate piece he’s unsure about it.

It’s original price, long ago, just £450. Now he wonders will it go for more than £450,000. Is it too hubris of him to imagine that? He doesn’t know.

Nana’s been offered more for it from private collectors before, even to the sum of £600,000, but he’s always adamantly said no. Part of him wishing, he’d just given to that strange man all those years ago. Then he’d at least known someone else would be as tortured as he by it. The bidding starts high and goes fast. The man in the front row doesn’t bid. It makes Jaemin sad.

In the end it’s a tense war between a man in his fifties with the most garish outfit on, and a young gentlemen, who’s clearly bidding for someone else by the lack of personality in his manner and outfit. The young man wins, and Jaemin’s soul burns. He loses a part of himself every time one of his paintings sell, and this was one of the biggest slices.

*

Chenle drives Jaemin to the afterparty, as a curtesy the young editor claimed for Nana being so accommodating. He’s already changed into a more Jaemin appropriate outfit, which consists of blue un-ripped jeans and the softest pink sweater. His two personas styles couldn’t be more different, and he wants to keep it that way.

The party is at Chenle’s soulmate Jisung’s flat strangely. In explanation, Chenle had informed Jaemin that it was the perfect place to hold it, seeing as Jisung was still paying rent after he’d moved out weeks ago to move in with Chenle. It helped Jisung, Chenle, and was a very low-key venue for the semi high-profile guests, which had been invited. Plus it was in a private building. Jaemin hadn’t really cared for the details, trusting that Chenle knew what he was doing.

All he could think about was the fact he was going to meet Jeno Lee in the flesh, and he was kind of shitting bricks about it. Doyoung’s pep talk pre-party had done nothing to calm his inner monologue of worry and anxious thoughts. Either it was going to be amazing or it was going to be a complete disaster. He could do this.

The party is already buzzing when he arrives. They’d entered separately, so when Chenle greets him he then introduces Jaemin to people, as the newest illustrator at Dream Publishing. It’s a believable cover, and Chenle sells it well.

As a person who knows a lot of people, Chenle really had outdone himself. Jaemin could see a mix of people; from a few famous ones, who hadn’t been at the auction, to a number of Dream Publishing talent. He gets a cocktail from the bar, a Sex on the Beach this time, and does a loop around the party. It’s weird not really knowing anyone here. In his capacity as Nana, he could have droves of people surrounding him but in this setting he’s no-one. Jaemin normally hangs out with a bunch of musicians, this is no-one from that scene here tonight.

On his second circuit, he finally catches a glimpse of Jeno, and goes to make his way over, but at the last second something stops him. He sees Jeno talking animatedly with a man Jaemin actually knows the name of. Donghyuck, right?

The two-look cosy, as if they’ve known each other forever, and Jaemin is left reeling. What are the odds one of the only people he would speak to at that party also knows the one he admires so greatly. Jaemin doesn’t want to interrupt and tries to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking a little.

Jeno is looking a little too fondly at Donghyuck’s face for Jaemin’s heart to take.

He circles back to the kitchen but stops in the corridor leading from the room he left to the place he wanted to be because he catches sight of the same man looking at the same artwork, only this time it’s a fake. There are a bunch of art prints on the wall as decoration, mostly his past work. Chenle’s eye for detail is a little scary, considering this apartment is supposed to be empty. As a distraction he sidles up to the stranger, feeling drawn to him once again, just like at the show earlier and attempts conversation.

 _“Not as good as the real one, I think”_ Jaemin half whispers.

The smaller, but still as beautiful, man besides him jumps a little before turning to look at him. The stranger’s breathing hitches slightly, before he smiles softly, and whispers his response _“No not at all. This one definitely doesn’t make me want to want to burn it the ground.”_

Jaemin gasps. Never in a million years, did he think he would really remember him, never mind reference something that happened so long ago. He wants to run, but also not. The vision of seeing Jeno looking at Donghyuck so brightly makes him stay.

 _“You…you remember”_ The stranger nods and holds out a hand. _“Tonight I’m Renjun. Who would you like to be?”_ Words, which sound spoken by someone who understands what it’s like to be someone else, come out assuredly from the petite man.

_“You can call me Jaemin.”_

In all the years he’s been Nana, he’s never told anyone willing that he was Jaemin if they knew he was Nana too. It just wasn’t safe. The world feels like it’s burning all around, but here in this safe cocoon, Jaemin has just met a man who makes him feel calm. _“Jaemin. I like the way that sounds. Congratulations by the way. I know this must of have been hard for you, but I’m proud of you.”_

It feels so personal. Jaemin’s breathing stops.

 _“Oh crap. I’m sorry that was too much. You must think I’m so creepy. Dammit, Chenle said I often sound weird.”_ Renjun looks like he’s half apologising, half muttering to himself.

 _“You know Chenle?”_ Jaemin asks more intrigued than freaked out now. If this Renjun knows Chenle, then Jaemin reckons he must be okay enough to converse with. _“Oh, Chenle’s one of my best friends.”_ The small man’s face blushes the most beautiful colour, and Jaemin is left gobsmacked by it.

 _“Right. That’s cool.”_ Words are not working right now. He turns the conversation to something he does know a thing or two about. _“I’m sorry I sold the painting. I know you loved it, as much you hated it.”_ Renjun’s eye flick back to the painting and are filled with something Jaemin can only identify as amusement. He doesn’t understand why, but nothing about Renjun really makes sense.

_“Oh well. I’m sure it will end up in the right place.”_

Renjun doesn’t seem bothered at all, but before Jaemin can ask anything more of it, Chenle comes screeching into the corridor. Apparently after a few drinks, Chenle’s professionalism takes it down a notch. _“Injunnnnnnie, that’s where you are. I’ve been looking for you. I thought you were just going to the bath….oh Jaemin you’re here too….”_ Chenle looks unsure as to how act next. Eyes flicking between the pair. Jaemin remembers he doesn’t know Renjun knows who he is now.

_“It’s cool Chenle. Renjun and I are cool”_

He adds a wink to add meaning to his stare, hoping even tipsy Chenle can understand. The editor’s eyes light up as he turns to Renjun and just giggles. Renjun blushes again, and hits Chenle on the arm. It looks painful. Renjun can sure pack a punch. Rubbing the sore spot, Chenle whispers badly to Jaemin. _“Renjun’s always been a fan.”_ He grins back at Renjun, who just goes for him. It’s hilarious to watch. The pair obviously close. Jaemin laughs again and decides to let the pair have their secrets.

It’s time to find Jeno anyway, he reckons. Hopefully Donghyuck will be elsewhere by now, not that he doesn’t want to speak to the bright man himself, but tonight is supposed to be about meeting Jeno Lee.

 _“I’ll see you later Renjun, Chenle, yeah?”_ he asks, knowing he wants to talk to Renjun some more. There’s so much they could talk about. It’d be good for him to talk to someone other than Minho, his therapist, and Doyoung, his manager, about it all. They nod, and Jaemin heads back the way he came.

Approaching the room carefully, he scans the side of the room he left the other pair in but sees no-one. Damn. He steps in and walks around again. Some of the guests have decided to have a dance on the living room floor, some of them are pretty good. Especially Jisung. Jaemin’s seen photos and guesses this is the infamous soulmate of his editor. He’s cute. Finally he spots Jeno by the window. A drink in hand, and a wistful look on his face. The stars are out tonight, and Jaemin thinks they sparkle in Jeno’s eyes.

Each step feels heavy. He’s nervous, more than he thought possible. Jaemin steels himself. Taps the gorgeous man on the shoulder, and states softly; _“When I was a kid my mom once told me of a star, who was in love with the sun, but realised one day that the sun already had a soulmate, the moon. The star never got over it. The saddest part, his own soulmate had been always been trying to shine so brightly as to catch the star’s attention, but the star had never looked away from the sun to notice.”_

Jeno smiles.

_“Hi Jaemin”_

  
  


### Jeno

Talking to Haechan….no Donghyuck, had been like a dream. The man so like the boy Jeno remembered, but also different. More weathered than before. Beaten down by the passage of time. It made Jeno’s heart ache, but the most important bit of information Jeno discovered mid-conversation during the afterparty. Donghyuck had not met his soulmate yet.

It gave Jeno hope that not all was lost.

 _“Do you remember camp? How magical that place had felt? Like we could be or do anything we wanted?”_ Donghyuck looks sparkly. Jeno falls harder. It’s easy to, and he doesn’t want to fight it.

 _“Yeah, well at least in that first week it did for me,”_ Donghyuck bites his lip at Jeno’s response.

Jeno isn’t trying to make the other feel bad, but he’d spent a lifetime wondering what had happened to the boy he’d loved. The one who’d abandoned him. Sometimes he’s wondered whether if Haechan had stayed, whether they would be soulmates now. It wasn’t unheard of for kids to meet their soulmates at a young age, but it was hard to deal with. _“Jeno I am sorry for what happened.”_ Donghyuck is looking at him directly in the eye. There is a genuine look of apology, which fills his eyes, and Jeno looks away, unable to stare into such honesty. He’s so much better at dealing with feelings when they are someone else’s.

 _“I know Donghyuck. I don’t meant to bring it up so much. What did happen? All I remember is us hanging out by the camp fire, and then the next morning you were gone. It hurt so bad. I thought I’d done something wrong.”_ Jeno’s eyes fill with tears, but he refuses to let them fall in front of Donghyuck. He’s not that lonely kid anymore.

Jeno hands is grabbed and their fingers become interlaced, in this corner of the party the world becomes just the two of them.

Donghyuck takes a breath and speaks earnestly, _“I had a panic attack after the bonfire ended. And then when I slept, I had a nightmare, which wouldn’t end when I woke up. Just before camp I’d be diagnosed with depression and insomnia, but I’d begged Mom to let me go to camp still. She didn’t want it, but I begged. She said they couldn’t take care of me, but I just felt like I needed to go. I had to be there you know. That night after the nightmare I become inconsolable apparently, and my mind broke. I was not well, no matter how much I wanted to hide from it. The counsellors decided I couldn’t stay; they weren’t trained to take care of a mentally sick kid._

_So they called my Mom, who drove out that night. I was in my own bed by the morning. I never got your address or number. I was ill for the longest time, but slowly I recovered bit by bit. As I grew up, my nightmares became more manageable and I learnt how to take care of myself better. By the time I was well enough to think about anyone else, to think about you, it was too late. The camp was long in the past, and I convinced myself what we had hadn’t been anything special. That’s why I never came after you. It felt like a dream.”_

The last piece of Jeno’s puzzle past clicks into place. Haechan hadn’t left him willingly. There was still hope for them. All the words he’s written over the years have all been for the man in front of him.

His nerves tingle, a reverberation of the past, when he’d felt the all-important tingles for the first time. Jeno knows for sure Donghyuck is his soulmate. He has to be. Jeno can’t think of anything, or anyone else. Maybe that’s why he says what he says next. A foolish hope.

 _“Donghyuck, do you think we could be soulmates_?” Jeno asks. Donghyuck sharply pulls back, unlacing their fingers, and stares at Jeno. His heart crashes at the sight. Jeno’s always been so rash with his words. Always speaking before his brain can catch up with his mouth. Jeno picks at the label on his bottle of beer. Desperate to focus his attention on anything but the awkward tension in the air.

 _“You need to wake up. This isn’t a fairy tale”_ is what Donghyuck says, in a moment which both makes and breaks Jeno’s heart. It’s like his whole soul fills in with this light, and he feels whole. His body tingles and shines. Donghyuck is his soulmate.

The part that breaks him, is that it’s clear Donghyuck didn’t just feel the same infusion of soulmate energy, that Jeno did. Haechan, Donghyuck, this man, isn’t his soulmate in return. He can feel nothing but devastation.

 _“Okay Donghyuck”_ he whispers back.

There is a still flicker of hope for Jeno, but Jeno squashes it, knowing how unlikely it is.

“I’m sorry Jeno,” Donghyuck’s eyes are wild, apologetic and crazed, “I have to go now. I will message you tomorrow. I’m really sorry.” In his defence, Donghyuck really does look sorry, so Jeno watches his soulmate walk away from him again.

Could Donghyuck ever fall in love with him, in the way Jeno loves him? He’s not sure.

*

Ten minutes later, Jeno is at the window staring at the stars. Wondering if they knew what it was like to love and not be loved in return. He’s so out of it Jeno’s not shocked at the words which come seemingly out of the nothingness. Strangely it’s a story of a star loving a sun, who loves a moon.

Does Donghyuck love a moon? Is Jeno the other star? Is Jeno destined to forever pine for someone who won’t love him back. As the short tale finishes, Jeno realises this could only be one person.

Jaemin.

He turns and smiles small, lingering tingles float through his body. _“You made it?”_ Jeno murmurs. Jaemin’s smile is blinding. His perfect teeth, and soft lips, dazzle Jeno. In another life, maybe this man could have been someone Jeno thought of differently.

 _“I did. What’s got you all melancholy?”_ Jaemin muses, not knowing the earth-shattering moment Jeno has just experienced but still Jeno wants to share it with someone, anyone. Jaemin feels safe. _“I just met my soulmate.”_

The other man gawks at him like he’s spoken another language. And for a few moments, Jeno sees the flickers of a deep sorrow circle Jaemin’s irises, but then they’re gone, and he’s back to the supportive Jaemin, Jeno knows from their message exchanges.

 _“Oh wow. Congratulations.”_ The praises fall on sombre ears. _“Is it Donghyuck?”_ Jaemin questions. What? How does Jaemin even know who Donghyuck is? Jeno splutters, eyes large and grabs Jaemin’s arm. _“How do you know him?”_

 _“Met him at the Dream Team and Talent party. He’s funny.  I like him. How do you know him?”_ Jaemin is acting calmly, casual, but Jeno doesn’t know him well enough to know how on edge the other really is.

Jeno charges on. _“Oh. Well Donghyuck and I knew each other as kids. Long story.”_

 _“He’s Haechan, I’m guessing.”_ The dimming Jaemin shocks Jeno again with knowledge he shouldn’t have. _“I don’t understand Jaemin. How do you know all this?”_ Jeno is confused.

Hurt, lost and just so confused. His soulmate. Jaemin. It’s too much. A tear drops down his face, and he turns away from the artist, not wanting him to see his fragility.

 _“Jeno, let’s leave okay. Go somewhere. I’ll buy you a coffee. You can tell me about this thing with your soulmate”._ This party has become the last place he wants to be, so they leave the party.

They bid farewell to Chenle, but to make matters more difficult, Jeno sees something. Donghyuck talking to a stranger Jeno recognises, and his soulmate looks like he’s far more interested to speak to Renjun than he did Jeno.

The thought strikes him, that maybe Renjun is Donghyuck’s moon? Perhaps Jeno is destined to be the lonely star forever stuck enraptured by the sun’s beauty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd - so let me know if you see any mistakes etc
> 
> Comments/kudos keep me inspired to keep going!!!!!!
> 
> TW - @na_emily


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tis a good month for fans of this story. I'm sorry this chapter isn't as good as the previous ones. I may come back to edit later, but we've officially reached major angst moments and drama haha!
> 
> Tenses will always be the devil to me - forgive me in advance. Comments are accepted as a form of love & payment for my blood, sweat & tears on this fic. Fellow authors you know my pain.
> 
> Enjoy :)

### Donghyuck

Walking away from Jeno is harder than he thinks it should be. Jeno’s question about them being soulmates had seriously thrown him back to a time when he was questioning whether Mark could be his soulmate. It felt full of possibilities, but also terrifyingly full of disappointment to.

In the moment he’d panicked. It was like Jeno was still the boy from camp that Donghyuck had met at 14 years old, a boy who believed in true love, soulmates. Basically in fairy tales. Maybe Haechan could have believed in that all, but Donghyuck was too weathered now. Life had been too harsh. Anyway the odds of meeting your soulmate that young were incredibly low. They just couldn’t be soulmates, plus there was Renjun. Donghyuck couldn’t deny how much his heart sped up at the thought of the author. How in the past few years of his life, his affections had been solely focused on the idea of him, and then recently transformed into real feelings for a real man.

Seeing Jeno’s face when Donghyuck had responded with those too harsh words would haunt him for a long time. Jeno had seemed to sparkle almost then deflate in the same instance. It was impossible, wasn’t it. Donghyuck couldn’t possibly be Jeno’s soulmate. Could he? Donghyuck didn’t fall in love, he didn’t hear those words.

But maybe Donghyuck was the one living in a fairy tale about Renjun. Was Donghyuck keeping himself from his own happy ending because of a relationship he’d made up to be more in his head.

No.

Donghyuck doesn’t want to think about it. Not when he knows Renjun is at this party. He’ll deal with the Jeno thing tomorrow. It’s the coward’s way out, but he’s not a brave man. Jeno deserves better.

Striding out of the room, he leaves a broken Jeno behind. Blue whispers fading.

On his search for Renjun he gets caught up in conversation with some of the team from Dream Publishing. They’ve made a bit of a homebase in the kitchen with Chenle holding court. It’s a good distraction. After a little while, Donghyuck decides to make his excuses, Renjun running through his thoughts, but he sees Chenle disappear and reappear a minute later with the man in person. Just the sight of the smaller man, makes Donghyuck’s heart contract. Renjun looks celestial, and happiness covers his features with a youthful smile gracing his perfect lips.

Donghyuck wonders what could have made him so happy. He wishes it was because of him, but maybe he doesn’t deserve it after what he’s just done to Jeno.

Is he a terrible person? Can you choose who you love? Jeno, Renjun, Jeno, Renjun. The two men’s name swim around his head. Donghyuck only feels confusion. He doesn’t know Jeno, but he doesn’t know Renjun either. He’s in love with two strangers. Is he? As Donghyuck’s eyes come back into focus, he sees Chenle walking towards him with Renjun in tow. This is it. The moment he’s been waiting for, for so long.

 _“Donghyuck, may I introduce you to Renjun? He’s a copywriter at Dream.”_ Chenle winks subtly to Donghyuck, ensuring he understands he has to keep up the façade but Donghyuck already knows this drill.

 _“Yes, cool. Hi Renjun, nice to meet you.”_ Donghyuck splutters out like the fanboy he is. He gets one weird sidewise glance from one of the kitchen crew, but then Donghyuck sorts himself out, and carries on _. “Have you had a drink yet?”_ This time it comes out cool and collected, and the third party turns away clearly having decided there’s nothing to see here.

 _“Hey Donghyuck”_ Renjun shares quietly with a bemused look on his face. “ _A drink would be nice. Shall we?”_

They bid goodbye to Chenle who’s already absorbed in conversation with Jisung. His soulmate pulling Chenle in for a quick side hug, with a peck on his head. It’s endearing as fuck, and Donghyuck wants that so bad.

Fruity drinks in hand they find an empty room near the door to the apartment. As there’s no bedroom furniture left, it’s been made into a second seating type room for the party. The two grab some empty chairs, the others are occupied by a few unknown party goers, who all seem deep in private conversation.

Donghyuck has no idea what to say to Renjun now he has him in front of him. The pressure of years of yearning makes him silent. But it isn’t awkward. There’s so much he wants to say, but half of his mind is still on Jeno.

 _“I’m sorry about not staying for longer at the Dream party by the way,”_ Renjun begins. _“No, no that’s so in the past now. Don’t even mention it. We’re cool”_ Donghyuck rambles. This isn’t the life changing conversation he wanted with R.J.

 _“Are you nervous_?” Renjun softly enquires in an honest tone. After all their messages back and forth Donghyuck feels like he knows Renjun now, more than the just the idea of him, and it seems like Renjun might know him back.

_“I guess so. If I’m truly honest with you, I’ve been in awe of your stories for so long, and even after our email exchanges, I still feel unsure about it all. I don’t mean that I’m afraid of you or something like that, just I guess your life’s work has become my life’s work in a way and you mean a lot to me. So I just, yes I’m nervous.”_

Donghyuck takes a big sip of his fruity gin and tonic. Enjoying the burn of the gin at it rushes down his throat. He’s overwhelmed and just seeing Renjun in the flesh is setting all his emotions on fire and sending tingles down his spine. He feels so off, but so right at the same time. He has no idea what is happening.

 _“Ahh I get what you mean, and you’re right. It is your life’s work too. I wouldn’t, and don’t want to, take all the glory. Your illustrations have given my world such light and soul. I don’t doubt you’ve been a major part in their success. I hope you know that.”_ Renjun smiles blindingly at Donghyuck and he feels like he’s been stabbed in the heart with emotion. Is this what it feels like to fall in love? But something inside him holds back. He doesn’t know Renjun properly. He knows the person he is behind his books, behind his emails, but not who he is in real life. Is he someone Donghyuck can trust.

Afterall if Renjun is his soulmate, he’s going to hurt him in the end, right?

 _“I want to know more about you Renjun. Is that possible? I know you’ve wanted to stay hidden all this time, but I’d like to be friends, if you do?”_ Donghyuck hopes for the best but fears the worst. Renjun has always valued his privacy so much. Why would he let his walls down for him.

Renjun reaches out his drink free hand, and grabs onto Donghyuck’s tightened fist. _“I’d really like Donghyuck, honestly I think it’s time I tried harder to participate in the real world, instead of my fantasy one and I’d love to get to know you too.”_

It’s a start.

And more than Donghyuck hoped for. He feels his heart swoop, but he puts it inside to focus on the present. On the man in front of him. They get lost in talk about the final book, diving into the latest plot hole which is driving Renjun crazy. Donghyuck’s so happy in fact he doesn’t notice Jaemin leave with Jeno. Doesn’t register the glance Renjun sends Jaemin’s way.

His thoughts are so far from Jeno’s pain, so much so that Donghyuck doesn’t feel the crack inside his own heart.

 

### Renjun

Renjun stares at the painting on the wall of his apartment. It’s been two days since the auction, and the party, but only few hours since his newly purchased artwork has made it into his life. He’s spent many minutes thinking about where to place it, even consulting Yukhei about it.

Renjun’s three-bedroom apartment isn’t small, as a homebody he likes to have enough space to feel like he can be in a different part of his home, at different times of the day. Making sure he doesn’t feel claustrophobic. But this means he has plenty of wall space to fill in and the placing of the piece feels important. Hence the musing on it.

Over facetime, Yukhei suggested putting it in the corridor between the second and third bedrooms, so guests would pass it on their way to the bathroom, but somehow to Renjun that felt too common place. People would only glance as they went by, and Renjun himself wouldn’t be able to study it like he wants to.

No, it needed to be in a place he could sit and appreciate it. Jungwoo suggested the living room, but as Renjun wrote at his desk in there, it didn’t feel right either. It would either distract him or taunt him. Both bad.

Which left him with either the wall above his bed, or the space opposite his reading nook in the second bedroom. Again the taunting didn’t seem to tie well with the task of sleeping, so he’d picked the second bedroom, which was where he was sat now. It was a good positioning, because he could sit and stare at the painting in comfort, or he could turn away and focus on a book or the view outside his balcony nook. Secretly the second bedroom was his favourite room of the house, the only reason he didn’t live in there was because there was no ensuite bathroom and Renjun was inherently lazy.

On the way the painting stands out, just like it did in the auction room, but as the décor of the room is fairly simple it works. As a guest room, which only Chenle really uses, Renjun has never felt the need to do much with it. Only his nook has received any love, with blue blankets and soft purple cushions populating it. The rest of the room features small hints of the same colours to make sure it works as a concept overall. Simple, and cosy.

The four colours of the painting stand out brightly, though he’s noticed this time whilst viewing that both the red and blue colours seem less bright than before. It’s the strangest thing. Renjun doesn’t understand how the painting can look so different each time he sees it.

Ping.

Renjun snaps out of his confusion to see a message has arrived on his phone. It’s from Donghyuck, the two having finally swapped numbers at the party. They’ve been chatting more about things outside of the books now, and it’s been fun. Donghyuck makes Renjun laugh a lot. He’s witty and clever, but also heart-warming and sincere. A good combination. It almost makes Renjun feel something.

_“You up for grabbing dinner? If you don’t wanna go outside, we can always order takeaway and binge some TV?”_

Donghyuck is sometimes so intuitive about what Renjun needs it scares him. No-one else has ever truly got Renjun so quickly or so effortlessly. What he has with Yukhei, and Chenle, is deep friendship, a shared passion and history, but with Donghyuck it feels like so much more. From the moment he met Donghyuck it’s like Renjun’s boarded a train, he can get off at any time, but doesn’t want to. Each stop is more and more intriguing and addicting. The journey of getting to know Donghyuck has been easy, something Renjun’s not used to.

It’s similar with Jaemin, but that has happened over a much, much longer period of time. The two dancing around each other for so many years. Yet the same ease created between them in the end. Their talk at the party had proved it. Renjun thought he it would be artist and fan, but in the end, it was artist to artist. Renjun had finally understood more of why Jaemin wanted to hide and protect himself from the world. It was a scary place after all. And that understanding had created a base for something more.

Something Renjun wanted to explore more, but it needed more time. He wasn’t going to rush it now. Patience has always been Renjun’s virtue.

Did it make Renjun a bad person to spend so much time with Donghyuck, when his feelings for Jaemin were still so strong? He didn’t know, but life wasn’t black and white. All Renjun knows is that  he needs Donghyuck in his life and he doesn’t want to keep pushing all the good things in his life away. Maybe that’s what happened between him and Yukhei. Renjun wants to be a good friend to Donghyuck, especially if that’s all he can be.

 _“Takeaway and movie night sound perfect. Do you want to come to my place? We can order when you get here?”_ Renjun takes a leap, and feels like he’s soaring, he’s not really sure why.

 

*

_“What do you mean you’ve never seen Harry Potter? Have you been living under a rock?”_

Renjun hears Donghyuck exclaim in disbelief at his admission. It’s not that he hasn’t wanted to over the years, but Renjun’s a method writer, and he didn’t want to be influenced by the other magical worlds in his own writing. To others it may seem like it was going over the top, but Renjun knows his readers have always said how they appreciated how unique his world was. Readers even specifically saying it was nothing like Harry Potter, which made Renjun smile.

 _“Nope, but I promise after I finish the final book, I’ll watch it with you, if you want?”_ Renjun states, shyness kicking in once he’s realised what he’s said.

Donghyuck beams at him, and it’s like the sun explodes. _“I’ll hold you to that. So today how about we binge some of the Umbrella Academy? It’s been on my Netflix to watch list for ages.”_ Renjun nods. He’s got no idea what that even is, but Donghyuck seems excited, and he likes that.

Renjun loves fried chicken, so they’ve ordered way too much, but Renjun will live off the leftovers for a day or so. Donghyuck had insisted on an order of cheesy fries. It’s a weird combo with the chicken, but Renjun’s game. The illustrator is fun to be around. Bringing animation to even the dullest of moments.

The Umbrella Academy is weird and Renjun loves it. He relates so much with the one sibling, who is nothing special. He’s always felt that way, and he finds himself lost in the story. The character’s even written a book, but Renjun’s are perhaps a little more successful. Together in Renjun’s living room, they binge at least 4 episodes, before Renjun starts yawning. He’s never been a night owl. Most of The Last Coven has been completed in the early hours of the morning, whilst drinking a mug of jasmine tea. Perfection to Renjun.

 _“Hey sleepy head”,_ Donghyuck runs his hand through Renjun’s hair. They’ve ended up on the sofa together, with Renjun’s head on Donghyuck’s lap. It should be too intimate for how long they’ve known each other, but it’s not. It feels right. _“Bedtime for you I think.”_ It’s not really a request, but Renjun resists because it means the end of their time together. He’s not quite ready for it.

 _“Do you wanna stay over in one of my spare rooms?”_ Renjun’s thinks of the room Yukhei normally occupies. It’ll be perfect.

 _“Are you sure?”_ Donghyuck’s unsure voice comes from above. _“Yeah, I am.”_

Renjun is trying not to think about anything other than right now. He knows it would be too much. He’s running on instinct. Pushing himself off the lap, which has cradled his head so well, Renjun shakes his head slightly, and tries to supress a small yawn. Failing, he hears a feint mumble from next to him, which suspiciously sounds like ‘cute’, but he can’t say for sure, so he lets it go.

Acknowledging it would be a huge kettle of fish, one Renjun is unwilling to open. Instead he wanders out of the room, signalling Donghyuck to follow. They silently make their way through the apartment. Renjun passes the room with the painting in. He doesn’t know why but he’s not ready to share it with anyone else. It still has so many secrets for him to uncover.

A door down the opposite side of the corridor leads to the third bedroom. This one is accented with green and red, which should look like Christmas, but it’s subtle enough not to. It’s got a bit of grey thrown in too. Renjun gestures around the room feeling a bit sheepish. _“I hope this is okay.” The bathroom is just one door down, and there are spare pyjamas in the drawer.”_ He points towards a white wooden dresser in the corner of the room.

 _“It’s perfect.”_ There’s an awkward moment which follows, the first of the night. So Renjun quickly excuses himself and bids Donghyuck goodnight. He doesn’t want to make it weirder than it needs to be. But after getting ready for bed, he finds himself unable to fall asleep.

It’s been a long time since he’s received physical affection and he likes it, a lot. The reality that Donghyuck is just down the corridor from him preys on his thoughts. And like he’s under spell himself, he finally gives into what he wants to do.

Renjun tiptoes to the door which separates him between doing the right and wrong thing. He has feelings for someone else, but that feels like a different life right now and in the dim light of the night, one he can easily brush aside. He pushes open the door, and shuffles over to the bed.

Donghyuck’s eyes flutter open in surprise but he says nothing and simply moves over. Renjun slips into the space Donghyuck’s made for him.

Finally some words _, “Is this okay?”_ Renjun asks.

He knows it’s not. Not when Jaemin is who his heart truly belongs to but maybe he’s a bit selfish too. _“Hmm”_ is the only response he gets from the man beside him, and with that Renjun makes to leave, second guessing his actions but to his shock, Renjun feels two strong arms around his body. Arms which pull him close and forces his head into the crook of the other’s neck.

Renjun relaxes finally, breathes in Donghyuck and drifts off the sleep. He knows he’ll have to face the consequences of his actions in the morning, but for now, this is good.

 

### Jaemin

_“What exactly do you mean by ‘he’s your soulmate, but you might not be his?’ How is that even possible.”_

Jaemin’s mind explodes at the endless possibilities which have just been introduced into his world by the sad man sat across from him. The coffee shop they’ve ended up at was one of the big chains, purely because they are open 24 hours and the clock is edging closer to 1am now. The upside of the chain is that it’s open all night of course, the downside is that the drinks they’ve ordered are nothing special.

In fact, Jaemin wishes he was drinking his usual Salted Caramel White Chocolate Mocha, instead he’s stuck with a 6-shot expresso coffee with no ice. It’s either go big or go home with Jaemin. Or Nana prefers the expresso, Jaemin like the Mocha but Minho would probably tell him not to split his tastes between personalities. He is both of them, which mean he likes both of them. Jeno is nursing an iced americano, but to Jaemin, he doesn’t seem really with it.

“Yeah, but it happened to me.” Jeno’s voice sounds hollow. Jaemin can’t imagine how painful it must be to find your soulmate and then realise they don’t love you back. Though from what Jeno goes on to explain about the complicate history, it doesn’t sound like the most ordinary of situations. Jaemin’s never be able to close to anyone. He’s been Nana for so long it created a wall around him. One so few could get through. It’s only through Jeno’s poetry that he has started to think about it. His words have inspired him to be brave. “I’m sorry Jeno. I know how important soulmates are to you.”

What can he say to the broken man in front of him. He’s totally biased himself, but he’s also devastated himself but the revelation. Jaemin swears he felt tingles from the first time he met Jeno, but maybe that is just wishful thinking. A projection of his greatest desire. To be loved for himself. Jeno sees Jaemin for who he is, not because he’s Nana. He doesn’t want to give that up. The universe is suggesting otherwise.

“Could he still be your soulmate though? Didn’t you once write a poem about soulmates who fell at different times.” Jaemin racks his brain for the words he couldn’t forget at the time.

_Sometimes one soul only falls for another after a time._

_Like a domino effect in slow motion._

_Painful for the first one to fall,_

_But a journey to love for the second._

Jeno looks up finally, and there’s a glint of hopefulness nestled in the darkness part of his eyes. Jaemin can only see it because he’s staring directly into the blue light. _“Yes it’s possible.”_ Jeno whispers, _“but I doubt I’ll be that lucky. For as many soulmates who domino, there are as many which one-side.”_

The darker side of soulmates reveals itself and slices into Jaemin’s heart. What is this is also Jaemin’s fate? To love someone, he struggles not to fill the space with Jeno’s name, and not be loved in return. Jaemin reaches out across the table and grabs Jeno’s drink free fist. Clutching it tight. Looking him directly in the eye, Jaemin does the only thing he can.

“I promise to always be here for you Jeno. The world can be cruel, but if I can help in anyway, I will okay.” It’s not a lot, but Jaemin’s thankfully when his words bring a small smile to Jeno’s face. “Thank you Jaemin. For everything. Your support means so much to me. For my poetry. For now. It’s good to not be alone right now.”

It’s the right thing for Jaemin to do, but at Jeno’s words, he feels lonelier than ever before. He wonders if it’s time to let go of the idea of Jeno. Perhaps yes, but first he needs to care for him. “Let me take you home Jeno.”

Jeno nods, and before long he’s waving goodbye as the UBER drops Jeno off and takes Jaemin on his way back to his empty home. Tears form but they don’t fall. It’s not his night to mourn the loss of a love, which has happened yet, but he knows will. He’ll starve it off for long as possible, but the inevitable is the inevitable.

*

When he awakens the next day, the first thing he can think about is painting. It’s strange for weeks he’s been struggling to feel inspire, but now with his own heartbreak imminent, he feels a surge of emotions he wants to express. The canvas he chooses is large, similar to the size of some of his earlier pieces, and the colour scheme feels familiar but until he’s more into the piece, he never truly knows what will become of it.

His heart broadcasts the pain which has been steadily building since Jeno spoke those words.

_I met my soulmate._

It seems so unfair. For him to meet someone who compliments him so well, only to find out he’s in love with someone else. A few hours pass, as Jaemin adds to the piece. He only steps back when his phone goes off, and Jaemin sees it’s Chenle. He doesn’t normally usually answer during his creative process but with the launch party just under wraps, it might be important.

 _“Hey Chenle, what’s up?”_ he answers as brightly as he can. Appearances must be kept up. _“have you seen the reviews Jaemin?”_ Straight in then. _“No I haven’t. I’m actually painting.”_ He responds honestly.

_“oh I’m sorry, would you like me to ring back? I just got excited for you!”_

This is one of Jaemin’s favourite things about working with Chenle. He knows Chenle isn’t lying right now. He really is excited for Jaemin.

 _“It’s cool. What did they say then? Good things I presume?”_ There’s no point being modest. Jaemin knows the art sold well last night, and that many people enjoy his artwork, so why wouldn’t they enjoy his book.

Though just because he knows it, doesn’t mean he understands it.

_“Yup. They loved it. They reviewed it as fresh, and invigorating. That it was great to hear your honesty about your inspiration, about your worries and about your dreams.”_

Jaemin’s not sure if the book contains all of him, or all of Nana, but he tried to open up as much as he could about his paintings, which are him essentially. He showed them Nana, and through that they probably caught a glimpse of Jaemin.

 _“I’m happy for you.”_ Comes Jaemin’s automatic response. He doesn’t realise what he’s said until Chenle goes silent for a moment, and then says _, “What do you mean Jaemin? Are you ok?”_ Damn he’s normally better a hiding his true feelings about Nana and the fame game. _“Oh sorry, I mean I’m happy that the book is doing well for Dream Publishing, they invested a lot of time and resources into getting this out quickly and I really appreciate it.”_ It’s the best he can do in the few moments he has to make up something.

Chenle takes a moment, and hesitantly thanks Jaemin, but even Jaemin knows Chenle doesn’t quite believe him. Fuck. He didn’t his mask slip in front of the younger man. Only a few people truly saw Jaemin as he was. First Renjun, and now Chenle. This could only end in ruin, Jaemin thought.

 _“Honestly, you’re doing an amazing job. Thank you for everything Chenle.”_ Jaemin at least knows this will sound genuine because it is, the younger has been a godsend and taken a lot of the pressure of Nana’s back work wise for a while. Something Jaemin’s long needed. Chenle sounding somewhat appeased finishes up the call asking Jaemin if Nana would be up for a few interviews in the next weeks. Jaemin commits as long as they are over the phone. Then he’s gone and Jaemin returns to his painting and gulps.

Having take a few steps back from his painting, he now has a bird’s eye view of it and what he sees scares the crap of him. It’s what he would call Soulmate part deux. Somehow the exact same colours have ended up on the canvas. This time though instead of sweeps and swirls of paint, it’s set up more like four blocks of colour. Each overlapping one another. In each colour box there are stripes of each of the other four colours. It’s beautiful, just like its predecessor.

Jaemin wants to burn it.

 

### Jeno

Despite Jaemin’s words, Jeno feels alone. Nothing Yuta says makes him feel less so, and Jaemin sounds lost in his own stuff when they exchange messages. Donghyuck is yet to be in touch, and Jeno wants to hide in his room and never come out again. For the first time since he handed in his notice at the café, he regrets it with all his heart. Before he had a reason to get up most days. Now the days are passing by and he barely notices them. He tries to bury himself in Television, but he soon realises a big problem with that. Every show he watches features soulmates in some way and it’s the same with movies, books, even music. Everywhere he turns Jeno’s faced with the reality he can’t escape.

A soulmate who doesn’t love him back.

Adding insult to injury, Jeno is also experiencing writer’s block. He hasn’t written a single word since the moment Donghyuck told him he was living in a fairy tale. The worst part of it being that it’s true. Jeno has been living in a fantasy world of his own making. He’s become so obsessed with his parent’s love story that he’d become blind to the fact he’d fixated on someone he didn’t know anymore. By putting all his hopes and dreams into finding and uniting with Haechan Jeno had been living out his ultimate fantasy regardless of how the other boy felt.

Of course, the idea that Donghyuck didn’t want him was crushing, but it was worse than that.

It destroyed everything Jeno believed in and now he has nothing to write about. He can’t bear the idea of sharing this pain, and he doesn’t want Donghyuck to know. Writing about other people’s soulmates had always felt dishonest but now it felt like a straight up lie and he just couldn’t do it.

Thus he couldn’t write a word and he didn’t know what to do, he needed help. Dream expected new content soon, and every day he did nothing about it, the worse it got. Reaching out to Chenle had been Jeno’s last-ditch attempt to fix it before it destroyed his whole life. His poems were as much a part of him as breathing, and to be without the ability to write them was soul numbingly awful.

Surprisingly Chenle has suggested connecting him with a mentor, someone who’d been there before and could offer some advice and encouragement. Because in situations like this, it took one to know one.

And even more remarkable was who Chenle suggested.

Renjun.

Donghyuck’s friend.

The man Jeno met all those weeks ago at the party.

Jeno wonders why he is the one who Chenle suggested, after all he’s only a proof-reader right? So how would he know what to say, regardless though Jeno trusts Chenle implicitly, so he says yes and awaits further information. It takes less than a day for Jeno’s phone to ring with an unknown number, as instructed by Chenle it would be.

 _“Hello”_ Jeno speaks into the phone with the hope the person on the other end will solve all his problems.

 _“Hey Jeno, how you doing_?” Renjun’s voice comes clearly through the speaker. His question loaded and Jeno doesn’t know where to start. How can he begin. This suddenly feels like a terrible idea. Jeno knows Renjun and Donghyuck are connected in some way. He has to keep the secret of his soulmate from him, but he can talk about his writer’s block.

_“I…err….not so good honestly.”_

It’s a start.

They talk for over an hour before Jeno realises how much time has gone by. And so far, Renjun’s yet to mention anything about his writer’s block. He’s just asked Jeno all about his writing, what he loves about it. His favourite poem. How he felt writing it. What was the hardest thing to do when editing them. Just curiosity at it’s peak, and for some reason, Jeno can answer all his questions. It feels easy with Renjun.

_“Okay Jeno. Let’s stop here for today. Thank you for being so open with me. I know you may feel a little frustrated after our call, but I want to ring you tomorrow as well and each day after that. Writer’s block, well what I believe, isn’t something that can be solved in one day or one phone call. It takes time and processing things we might not want to face. Are you happy for me to keep calling?”_

Jeno’s stunned. He can’t fathom the idea that an almost stranger would be willing to help him so much. _“Are you sure Renjun? I know you must be busy with your own stuff surely.”_ He wants to give Renjun an out. Jeno doesn’t feel worthy of anyone’s time.

_“Jeno, let me reassure you I want to call you each day okay. I know what it feels like to be stuck with your pen poised on the page but unable to make it glide. It hurts your soul, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Plus Chenle sent me some of your work, and I think it would truly be a crime if you never wrote again. Your poems are beautiful.”_

Renjun speaks firm and clearly, with no way for Jeno to protest and although Renjun can’t see it, Jeno blushes all the way from his neck to the tips of his hair roots. He’s been so down on himself for days now that he’s forgotten how many people love the work he’s done so far.

_“Okay Renjun. I’m in too then. Thank you.”_

Renjun confirms tomorrow’s call time, and Jeno is left reeling with a spark of hope in his chest which wasn’t there before.

*

Jaemin messages him later that day.

 _“Wanna go to the movies? And grab some food.”_  

Jeno considers saying no, but the little voice in the back of his head, which now sounds a bit like Renjun’s voice, pipes up and tells him there’s more to the world than Donghyuck Lee. He can’t sit around and pine for Haechan forever. It’s not healthy to be so blue.

_“Sure. When? Where?”_

They arrange to meet at 6pm in front of the old movie theatre in old town he likes. It’s one of Jeno’s favourite places to watch old films. The old-style décor and old-fashioned sweets make him remember an easier time in his life.

Usually he opts for a classic soulmate movie, but today Jaemin’s suggested a comedy and it sounds like a perfect plan to Jeno. He’s not quite ready to be face more soulmates yet, but he reckons over time it’ll become easier. Well he hopes.

Hanging out with Jaemin is effortless. The week without seeing him has dragged by so much, and it’s only now in his presence, Jeno realises how much Jaemin eases his burdens. How light he feels, and it’s weird but it eerily reminds him of how he feels when he’s with Donghyuck.

Jaemin has crept into his heart without him even realising and Jeno wants to cling onto this small bit of happiness. The movie makes him laugh, and at some point Jaemin grabs his hand at a particularly funny part and then doesn’t let go.

Jeno doesn’t either. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s playing at. In truth, they’re playing a game he doesn’t know the rules to, so anything goes.

They don’t look at each other for the rest of the movie. Jeno does sneak multiple glances down at their entwined hands. Wondering how it’s even possible? Donghyuck’s his soulmate, right? It doesn’t make sense for Jeno to be acting this way. When the movie ends, Jeno stands up first and reluctantly pulls his hand away from Jaemin’s to grab his bag which has shifted further under the red plush seat. It’s wedged in a little, so he has to bend over weirdly to get at it. Jeno hears Jaemin burst into giggles but doesn’t know why.

 _“Hey, what’s so funny?”_ he whines, as he straightens up with his rescued bag in hand. _“You just looked so funny all twisted weirdly then. I don’t know why you didn’t just turn around. Though it was a good view.”_

Was that a flirty comment. Is Jaemin flirting with him? When did they launch into flirting territory? Jeno’s got no fucking clue but he’s kind of thrilled by it. Good lord, he has to be the worst soulmate in the history of the world.

 _“C’mon Jeno. Let’s grab some food”_ Jaemin doesn’t seem to be suffering from the same guilt, because in the same moment he turns to walk out the theatre, he also grabs Jeno’s hand again. It stays that way the entire way to the restaurant and then Jeno lets Jaemin order for him. It’s not hard, Jeno will pretty much eat anything, something he’d told Jaemin about in their many messages back and forth.

In many way Jeno knows Jaemin better than he knows Donghyuck. Jeno can even imagine a world where Jaemin is his soulmate, and they are together, but still it would be unfair to Jaemin’s real soulmate. Jaemin though still isn’t reading the contact, as he shamelessly flirts with Jeno the entire time Jeno devours his burger. They even end up splitting an ice cream sundae. Definitely date kind of behaviour.

Wait.

Are they on a date?

He feels wrong.

 _“Jaemin, what are you doing?”_ Jeno summons the courage to ask.

 _“What do you mean_?” Jaemin appears serious for the first time, evident he knows exactly what Jeno’s referring to. He seems nervous too, and Jeno watches as he picks at his sweater sleeves. Jaemin won’t look at Jeno. _“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Holding my hand, flirting with me, asking me on a date.”_

Jeno feels stupid. How could he have let this happen? He’s a terrible person.

But really it was Jeno’s feelings which let this happen, not his brain. That’s the truth. It’s not just Donghyuck who he cares for. It’s Jaemin too. He doesn’t know what to do with that information. So he buries it temporarily.

 _“I…I…I really like you Jeno”_ Jaemin concedes, as if he’s giving away state secrets.

Jeno’s taken back with the sudden confession and flounders about what to say. Jaemin continues. _“If I’m honest I’ve liked you for a long time. I kind of fell for you through your poems, but I never really thought I’d get to meet you and then I did, and you were just everything and more. You literally speak like a poet. You’re bright, charming and kind. I love hanging out with you, and….and…I think I’m in love with you Jeno.”_

The words hang heavy in the air between them. What the fuck? Jeno’s heart thumps loudly in his chest and his mind rejects the words he’s heard. Because Jeno’s a fraud. He always has been. Nothing he’s written is true. He has no soulmate. And he knows nothing about having one. Only pain and heartbreak. Jaemin’s in love with a lie. Jeno can’t do this to him. But how he can he let him down gently? There’s been too much pain this week.

Seconds tick by and Jeno knows he has to say something before Jaemin loses it completely.

 ** _“_** _Don’t fall in love with me. My words are all lies”_ Jeno whispers. He expects Jaemin to offer a rebuttal but instead Jaemin looks ecstatic, and then horrified. It reminds Jeno of something, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. _“Oh god Jeno, what do you feel for me? Anything, say literally anything.”_ Jaemin sounds desperate, panicking Jeno.

What on earth just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your theories - what do you think has just happened? Also can you guess my favourite scene in this whole chapter. 
> 
> Let's chat TW - @na_emily


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @peacezenie for sharing this journey with me - your encouragment & willingness to dive into this world with me has kept me afloat more than you know x

### Donghyuck

He wakes up to an empty bed, and sighs. Donghyuck has no idea where he and Renjun now stand after their night in close quarters, and he feels the brief confidence of last night waver until it splutters out of existence.

Maybe he shouldn’t have let Renjun cross the line by getting into his bed. Then again maybe he shouldn’t have crossed the line himself by pulling Renjun’s soft small body into his arms and holding him close. Close like he never wanted to let go. Donghyuck just wanted to have it for one moment. To see what it felt like to be connected to the person you felt completed your soul.

But he’s playing with fire and Donghyuck is going to get burnt, because he knows, if Renjun is his Soulmate then Renjun will be in love someone else and even if he doesn’t mean to, Renjun will break his heart.

The words on his calf tell him so.

Life can be so cruel.

At one-point last night, Donghyuck had closed his eyes and just imagined what it would be like to be with Renjun properly. Sharing their lives together. To wake up every morning knowing he’s loved by a wonderful, smart, sharp and creative man.

But that was a fairy tale.

Just like the one Jeno had created for the two of them all those years ago. Was he as bad as Jeno? Perhaps so. Finally he could understand Jeno a little bit more and his heart pained in empathy for the poor boy he turned away and then abandoned. Pushing thought of Jeno aside, Donghyuck made a grab for his clothes. Redressing quickly with the determination to leave Renjun’s apartment before things got messier in this head.

Last night he’d been so distracted by the Renjun, Donghyuck hadn’t really noticed the apartment’s details, but seeing it in the bright light, coming from the skylights above, it’s clear the Author is very well off. Not so surprising considering how popular The Last Coven series have become. Donghyuck himself gets one large paycheck per book, but Renjun must get royalties. Massive amount of royalties.

As he wanders along the apartment curiosity gets the better of him and he decides to enter what he quickly realises to be another guestroom. This one has the cutest nook style set up, with the comfiest looking cushions piled up inside. Maybe this was where Renjun did his reading? Donghyuck smiles at the thought of the petite man being curled up inside the space with glasses perched on his nose and old book resting on his knees.

He scans the space, and spies the predicted upside book, paired with a cute pair of wired rimmed glasses. Satisfied with his viewing of the nook, Donghyuck lets his vision span out further and his eyes catch onto a more familiar sight. The Soulmark painting is here in Renjun’s spare room.

Renjun purchased the painting that Donghyuck hadn’t been able to forget. But why? He feels confused more than anything. Did Renjun feel what Donghyuck felt when he looked at the painting? Despair, but at the same time hope.

It bring up so many questions, but Donghyuck doesn’t think he’s brave enough to ask any of them. He doesn’t want to break the precious balance they’ve created between them.

Most of all, Donghyuck can’t bear the idea of hearing those word come from Renjun’s lips. To silence the thought, he drags his eyes away from the torturous piece of art, and heads down the corridor Renjun led him up last night, making his way to the kitchen. God, he needs a cup of coffee and food if there’s any going.

He hears Renjun before he sees him, whistling away to some song Donghyuck can’t place. Renjun is bustling around the kitchen space, cooking something, with whatever song is playing in his mind guiding his body is soft swaying motions. Donghyuck can smell coffee brewing, thanks the heavens, and with a few more steps can see there’s a stew going on the stove. The rice cooker is also on. Donghyuck drools a bit. All worries pushed aside, as he feels his stomach rumble.

 _“Morning”_ Renjun smiles softly. Donghyuck feels his resolve crumble slightly. It’s not fair, why is Renjun so perfect. Maybe this is payback for Jeno? Stop it, he tells himself, the world doesn’t work that way. Mark would be proud of him for remembering that.

 _“Is that for me?”_ Donghyuck teases slightly, happy with the easiness he feels between them. Renjun nods, and gestures to the table, which Donghyuck finally sees is set up for two. A blush starts to bloom under his cheeks, but he shakes it off before he can embarrass himself, just smiling at Renjun.

He feels like a thief stealing all these moments from the person who has the real rights to them.

They eat, share stories and laugh, a lot. Donghyuck feels wonderful and terrible in equal measure. An overwhelming pressure building in his chest, pushing itself upwards, and outwards. He fights to keep it in though. It’s too soon. It’s not fair to Renjun. Not fair to Jeno. He opts for what he believes to be the safer route.

 _“I saw the Soulmate painting in your guest room. I didn’t know you’d bought it_ ,” Donghyuck blurts out. Jesus, not subtle at all. Renjun looks hesitant to respond.

_“Oh, I didn’t think anyone would know so soon. I’ve always admired the painting a great deal, and it holds a lot of history for me. When Nana put it up for auction, I just had to have it. Even if I eventually got rid of it, I felt the need to try understanding it more. I don’t think I can explain it properly. It seems a bit crazy, but the painting speaks to me.”_

Renjun stops abruptly. The silence between them stretches, until Donghyuck can’t take it anymore and whispers, _“I felt the same way Renjun. I couldn’t stop looking at it and I feel like it speaks to me too. Like I want to know it, to understand why I feel so strongly about it, but it also scares me so much. It reminds me of you, if I’m honest.”_

Renjun looks stunned and points to himself, _“Me? Why on earth would it remind you of me?”_ He laughs self-consciously, and Donghyuck melts inside, because it’s just that awkward giggle he’s come to adore. In fact, he pretty much adores everything about Renjun, and he can’t help it.

Donghyuck is in love with Renjun.

 _“Because I can’t stop looking at you, and it scares me. I’m really sorry Renjun, but I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”_ Donghyuck feels the tears already dropping down his face, because he knows it’s happening again. Flashbacks of Mark run through his mind, but now they’re joined with those of Jeno too. Renjun looks distraught at his confession.

It’s too much. Donghyuck is always too much.

Finally.

 **_“_ ** _I’m sorry. I love someone else.”_

And there it is. Donghyuck’s nerves light up inside, and he tingles all over. He was right Renjun is his Soulmate.

 _“I know.”_ The tears fall even more, and it hurts so bad. Renjun looks like he wants to cry as well but is somehow holding it together.

 _“You’re my Soulmate Renjun, but I don’t think I’m yours,”_ Donghyuck admits truthfully through his sobs. Renjun looks shocked but doesn’t say anything. What is there to say? His lack of response confirms Donghyuck’s fear. He tries to get away from Renjun, to be anywhere but here. However Renjun doesn’t let him, as he feels two arms enclose around his chest and pull him close, this time.

They stay at the table, bound together for an unending amount of time with Renjun whispering all the while, _“I’m so, so, sorry Donghyuck.”_

It hurts.

 

### Renjun

Renjun feels like one of the characters in his book and the scenes of his life are playing out like the chapters in one of his books.

How could Donghyuck be his Soulmate? That’s impossible isn’t it.

After an hour of consoling the man in his arms, Renjun had finally had to let Donghyuck go. Life wasn’t like a book. He couldn’t make Donghyuck’s pain go away. Renjun wasn’t able to reassure him that it would all be better by the next scene.

It was his worst fears coming to life. This is the punishment he got for trying to live in the real world.

Pain and heartbreak.

With Donghyuck gone, his apartment feels empty and as much as Renjun’s words to Donghyuck were true. Doubts are starting to creep in.

Yes, Renjun loves Jaemin. He’s in no doubt about that now, the meeting at the part just cementing what he’s always known, but part of him now also has feelings for Donghyuck. He can’t deny that either. Last night had shown him that. Donghyuck understood him in a way Lucas never had. In a way Jaemin was yet to.

But Donghyuck wasn’t his Soulmate. Renjun didn’t hear him whisper those terrible words to him. The ones he dreads more than anything.

He didn’t hear his nickname, _Injunnie_.

He was so confused but at least he one point of comfort, in the fact he was now acquainted with somebody that knew more about Soulmates than anyone else. His mentee, Lee Jeno. Maybe he might have some answers for Renjun.

At first, the phone calls has been as a favour to Chenle, but soon Renjun had found himself enjoying the daily calls to the unknown man. Outside of his calls, he’d got caught up in reading more and more of Jeno’s works.

And what masterpieces they were.

There didn’t seem be any kind of Soulmate meeting Jeno hadn’t witnessed. It was awe inspiring the way the other wrote so earnestly about those moments, touching Renjun’s closed off heart. Maybe it was because Renjun had finally let some of his walls down that he was open to hearing these new things. Part of that was because of Donghyuck for sure, but also there was just something about Jeno’s way of talking that made Renjun relax.

Jeno reminded Renjun of Dean a whole lot. The two characters being similar in eerie ways. Solid, reliable and honest in their way of looking at things. It was refreshing. Though Renjun can tell something has changed within Jeno since he last wrote anything. There’s an emptiness in his voiced words, which didn’t exist before. Jeno holding something back from Renjun, but he doesn’t want to pry. Knowing whatever it is Jeno isn’t saying, is what is behind his writer’s block and that he’ll share when he’s ready.

Renjun’s only experienced it himself once before, and that was during writing book three of the Last Coven. The storyline had been about sacrifice, but underneath it had also been about a loss of youth, or a loss of innocence in their case.

In the book, the coven had had to decide whether to sacrifice one soul to save many, which had almost torn the coven apart. Eventually the choice had been taken away from them, resulting in deaths they could’ve prevented. It had been the first time the Coven had death on their conscious, and it changed them.

It changed Renjun too, striking him hard. So much so, he couldn’t write the final scenes for months. The part of the story where they were faced with the consequences of their inaction. Something Renjun has been afraid of his own life. If he didn’t act now, would his life just pass him by? Would his consequence be to never meet his soulmate?

Obviously, no-one was going to die in the real world, but it felt like something bad would happen, whichever choice he made. It paralysed Renjun, and only by talking to Chenle had he managed to get past it. It still caused him nightmares to this day.

Desperate to put aside the feelings of the events with Donghyuck calls Jeno earlier than usual.

 _“Hey”_ Jeno answers, and Renjun just knows he’s smiling. He’s not sure how. _“Hey yourself”_ they’ve become more than comfortable with each other in the days they’ve spoken. Talking about yourself in so much detail can do that, it seems.

 _“Are you free to talk?”_ Renjun’s asks not knowing whether he’s rung for Jeno or for himself. _“I’m just out for lunch with a friend, but I can ring you back, let me just check how long.”_

Renjun hears the phone rustle, and then some light chatter. He catches a few words. Phone call, friend, help and then Jeno returns to the call, confirming he’ll ring back in an hour. However, before Jeno ends the call, Renjun hears a voice all too familiar come through the phone, which definitely isn’t Jeno’s.

**_“Jeno-ah, do you want a coffee to go?”_ **

It floors Renjun. What? Why? How?  How on earth do Jaemin and Jeno know each other?

Silence on the line, leaving Renjun to his turbulent thoughts, and if he’s truly honest, with a broken heart.

*

It’s terrible timing, but Renjun’s back to writing by the end of a day where both he broke someone’s heart and his shattered into tinier pieces.

The ending of The Last Coven needs to be written. It’s the final section, he’s about the reach the climax and someone is going to die. It’s horrible that he has to write this now, but in the end, writing is Renjun’s safe haven. If he has nothing else. No-one else. He has these books; these characters. They are him, and he them. Even if they do now remind him of the men in his life.

With Jeno reminding Renjun of Dean, he realises all his characters are finally based on people in his life. It’s almost like he’s been channelling these people in the words on the page all this time, long before he ever met them all.

It’s either magical or super creepy.

Renjun feels the tears build behind his eyes as the scene plays out in front of him. He’s known all along that Jun would die, leaving Lucas alive but alone. Now though as he writes it, Renjun realises that it’s not just Lucas Jun’s leaving behind.

It’s Will, Dean, Nate, and most of all Reuben. Over the series, Renjun has seen Jun and Reuben become closer in a way he’d never expected. Maybe art reflecting life. In the story, Jun isn’t the only one who could make the sacrifice, but he’s the only who knows they need to do it, so he takes the mantel onto his shoulder.

Part penance for being the one who argued against killing the innocent all those years ago, so many lives had been lost because of it, Jun had never gotten over it. Part also now because Jun knows Lucas loves him, so Jun has to save him.

Jun is doing the one thing Renjun doesn’t think he could ever do. He is sacrificing his life to save his family, his Coven and the love of his life. Renjun dry sobs and has no-one to share his pain with. It feels all too much, building inside until a damn breaks free and the tears force themselves out.

Renjun has no-one who would understand, maybe save for Jaemin. Would Jaemin understand? Would he be there for Renjun? He doesn’t know, but he needs someone. His soul hurts so badly.

The phone rings twice before Jaemin picks up.

 _“Jaemin, it hurts. My characters are hurting me”,_ it wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, but Renjun feels inside his heart that Jaemin will get it. _“Oh Injunnie, I’ll be right there. Send me your address.”_

The words coming from the artist Renjun adores, both comfort and destroy him. Injunnie, fuck.

Jaemin just called him Injunnie.

 

### Jaemin

Jeno eyes him whilst Jaemin sits in shock after his initial outburst. It’s impossible, isn’t it? Donghyuck is Jeno’s Soulmate. How he can be Jaemin’s? It’s too confusing, and Jaemin scrunches his eyes shut for a second, scrabbling for any kind of relief from the pain in his mind. His brain hurting from the rush of emotions.

What the fuck.

 _“Hey, are you okay?”_ Jeno’s tone is brushed with concern, but Jaemin is unable look up yet. He’s fighting the urge to break down right now. In all the scenarios he’s ever dreamt up about this moment, none of them had him facing the man of his dreams with him not being his Soulmate back.

Jaemin always imagined his Soulmate might be a liar, or be a bad person, but Jeno is none of those things. How could Jeno think he was full of distrustful words? That his stories weren’t truthful? Did he mean his poems? He has to know.

 _“What do you mean by lies?”_ Jaemin asks quietly.

He’s afraid of the answer, but Jaemin needs to understand, his depression needs to know. “ _I, I…”_ Jeno fumbles over his words. It’s obvious it’s hard for him to respond, and Jaemin feels for him. Especially after everything that has happened with Donghyuck, but Jaemin’s involved now. He deserves the truth.

_“Jaemin, you can’t love me. I’m a…a fraud….I’ve been writing all these poems for so long about Soulmates, but I don’t even have one myself. Or rather now, I do but I’m not his. I’m a mess. I can’t give you what you want. I’m not…not your Soulmate...”_

Finally Jeno looks down and catches sight of something. His wrist, Jaemin reasons, mostly because of the flabbergasted look which now erupts across Jeno’s handsome face at the sight of Jaemin’s Soulmate mark.

It seems he’s finally noticed what the words on Jaemin’s wrist says: _My words are all lies_.

Sputtering, Jeno’s mouth starts going a mile a minute… _”What? How? I’m your Soulmate. Did you feel it? Omg, I’m a Soulmate to someone, but what? I don’t understand.”_

Jaemin feels the need to reassure Jeno in his panic. It’s not his fault either that this has happened.

“ _Jeno_ ” Jaemin softly says. Not wanting to frighten the obviously freaked out man, simultaneously he reaches out to grab Jeno’s hand the same one he’s been holding onto all night. The one which feels soft, and familiar and oh so right. _“It’s okay, Jeno. We’ll figure this out okay.”_

The man opposite him takes in a deep breath, as he’s all out due to the whirlwind of words he’s been forcing out. Jaemin tilts his head and examines his Soulmate. The world is a mysterious place, he thinks. All these months he’s been drawn to the poet behind the words which have filled his world up with so much light, and hope, and there’s been a reason behind it all this time. As much as Jaemin doesn’t understand, this part does make sense. All this time he was waiting for Jeno. The person who makes him feel safe and supported. The Jeno who likes Jaemin, not Nana.

But he’s not whole, because Jeno isn’t his Soulmate back. Yet. Jaemin’s determined to make Jeno fall in love with him, his final bit of faith in the universe, tells him this may just work out.

*

Jaemin and Jeno have been going on dates. Not many, but regularly enough to make Jaemin not lose hope.

It’s a bit strange, as Jeno isn’t against trying to get to know him better at all. Nor is he against the idea of falling for Jaemin, but the problem is, that Jeno is still very much in love with Donghyuck and it’s messing with Jeno’s writing.

So Jeno’s distracted.

Like today during lunch. Jaemin and Jeno had been laughing at some anecdote Jeno was telling, when Jeno’s phone had gone off. At first Jaemin had thought it was Donghyuck, but then he realised quickly it was the person Jeno said he’d been speaking to about his writing. Jaemin had known as soon as Jeno lowered the phone that he wanted to cut their date short. The disappointment hurt but Jaemin didn’t let it show. Making someone fall in love with you had to come naturally, he couldn’t force it and Jaemin knew Jeno was trying to let go off his fairy tale, but it was hard for anyone who’d been in love with someone for years to move on. Especially if that person was still ignoring you. Jeno really was special.

So instead of making it a big deal, Jaemin had just got them coffees to go and bid Jeno farewell. Jeno’s happiness after all was Jaemin’s. Man that was fucked up. Doyoung the only person Jaemin had told about finding his Soulmate had commented that very sentiment. Even advising Jaemin to be careful with his heart. It was too late though. His art was telling him so. Another painting was in progress, this time blue was the only colour. He’s realised blue represents Jeno. It always has for Jaemin.

And now the circle of blue in front of him with its many shades demonstrated all the parts of Jeno Jaemin loved, and the darkness surrounding it was Jaemin’s love. He was lost in the dark. Unable to find the way into Jeno’s heart. It was painful, but he couldn’t give up hope yet.

Jaemin jolts when his phone goes off unexpectantly. Having spent the day with Jeno, it felt unlikely Jeno would call unless something happened. Pulse quickening, he feels tingles in his arm but when he looks at the screen, he sees a name that only recently made it into his phonebook. Renjun. Why would Renjun be ringing him at 10.30 at night?

 _“Jaemin, it hurts. My characters are hurting me”_ he gets immediately what Renjun is telling him. So many times has Nana been distraught by the paint smeared across a canvas. Something only another true creative could understand. Jaemin reasons that’s why Renjun’s reached out to him.

Why else would he?

_“Oh Injunnie, I’ll be right there. Send me your address.”_

Jaemin doesn’t know where the nickname comes from, but it feels natural to use it. When they met at the afterparty, something had just clicked between them. Like meeting an old friend you hadn’t seen in a while and picking up exactly where you left off. He wastes no time in gathering his things and heading out. These days, because of the book, he doesn’t have as much to do and it’s relaxing for Jaemin. Nana is taking an unofficial break for the first time in 6 years and Jaemin can finally breathe because of it. Like a weight has been lifted, a pressure he didn’t know existed is gone.

Minho was right. Maybe it was time to let Nana go? Maybe it was time to just be Jaemin.

It takes 20 minutes to get to Renjun’s apartment, as it turns out to be on the same side of the city as Jaemin’s home. He rings the buzzer and is let in with no words over the intercom making Jaemin worry more for the author. Why are all creatives tortured so by their work? He wonders. Is it because it makes you face your darkest demons with no-where to run from them.

Jaemin takes the sleek looking elevator up to the 7th floor. It’s not quite the top but it’s near enough for Jaemin to know money lives here. He knocks on the door, and it’s opened by a tear stained faced man, who looks broken. Jaemin wants to hug him, but isn’t it still a bit weird? They’re practically strangers.

 _“Jaemin, it hurts”_ is all Renjun has to say, before all Jaemin’s fears fly out of the window. He steps into the apartment and embraces the smaller man. No-one should be in this kind of pain. Especially if Jaemin can help ease it. Renjun melts into him and his body sags against his. Strangely, Renjun seems to fit his arms perfectly.

Jaemin turns them slightly to allow the door to shut behind him, and then manoeuvres Renjun in the direction of the living room, which he can see from this point. He barely has a moment to see the place, but he can tell Renjun either has great taste or great taste in an interior designer. The wooden lined floors are smooth but textured in pattern. The walls graced with artworks. He has to double take at one point when he passes one of his own earlier works.

Oh yeah, Renjun is a fan of Nana.

The living room doesn’t disappoint either. It’s full of soft furnishings, with an L shaped sofa set up opposite a free-standing wood burner. There’s a chimney behind it, and Jaemin spares a second to figure out how that’s even possible in an apartment, which isn’t on the top floor, but Jaemin can’t. He’ll have to ask Renjun later. The accent colour of this room is a dark green, which isn’t too bold. Jaemin sees it in subtle furnishings and ornaments. Enough for the viewer to know it’s on purpose but not overwhelming to the senses.

The room suits Renjun well. Stepping across the room, Jaemin gently deposits Renjun on the sofa and tucks him in with the also green fleece lined blanket he finds folded on the back. _“I’m going to make us some tea”._ Renjun nods through his tears, unable to do anything but that.

If he weren’t so sad, Jaemin would think Renjun was cute. He navigates his way to the kitchen, having had Renjun point it out, and works out quickly enough how to make a pot of camomile tea. Something his Mother always did when Jaemin became overwhelmed as a youth. Sipping slowly, Jaemin watches as Renjun copies his actions, and calms himself down.

 _“Wanna talk about it?”_ Jaemin asks the sleepy looking boy but Renjun shakes his head and whispers, _“Not today, but can you stay? Is that ok?”_ he looks embarrassed to ask.

Jaemin considers his options. He doesn’t think it will hurt anyone if he hangs out here for a while. Renjun looks like he needs comforting, and if that’s all he can for someone, then at least he’s useful for a while.

_“Okay, I’ll stay.”_

 

### Jeno

Jeno desperately wants to love Jaemin.

It would make everything so much easier. And sometimes he thinks he can feel himself falling for the charming painter. It’s in the jokes he makes, in the sweet compliments he lavishes upon Jeno. It’s the hand holding, and romantic dates. Jeno’s never felt so loved in his life, well except those few moments all those years ago, but it’s silly to think about those times now. Not when he has Jaemin right in front of him. Jeno is Jaemin’s Soulmate. It’s unbelievable really.

For Donghyuck not to be his, well he can understand and accept that, but for Jaemin to have his Soulmate in Jeno. He doesn’t feel worth.

But it also makes Jeno suspicious.

He’s not told Jaemin about it yet, but he’s been researching domino Soulmates, ever since his encounter with Donghyuck. Now he’s even more energised to figure it out. Jeno wants to know if this has ever happened before. He even reached out to his old work colleague Ten, who doubled as psychology PHD student at their local University, and who by luck has access to the library’s massive resource of Soulmate books. A few of which Jeno’s always wanted to read, but never had enough motivation to organise getting into his care.

He’s motivated enough now. Ten delivered them last night after his shift at the café. Jeno found himself distracted for a while by tales from his old life. Apparently, there were still many Soulmate meetings going on, even two of the regulars Jeno knew separately, Doyoung and Jaehyun. They’d met shortly after Jeno’s quitting and had starting chatting. Then just yesterday, they’d become Soulmates, when Jaehyun had come out with the cheesiest line ever.

Something like ‘ ** _Your skin is as soft as milk buns’,_** to which Doyoung had replied, **_‘At least I don’t give my Soulmate weirdass compliments which end up on their skin forever’._** To Doyoung’s horror Jaehyun has revealed the same very words along his arm.

Jeno wishes he’d been there to witness it. Perhaps it would have inspired a poem. Instead though he focuses his attention on the waiting pile of books after Ten makes his exit. The answer to all these questions he feels, are in these books somewhere. Jeno just has to uncover it, like he’s uncovered so many secrets about Soulmates before. 

*

When he realises it’s been three weeks since the party with no word from Donghyuck, Jeno finally gets it that if he ever wants to see him again, he will have to make the first move.

At first, after his initial heartbreak, the only thing he could think about was seeing Donghyuck again. He couldn’t stop thinking about the Domino effect, but as the weeks have passed the desire to see him has diminished, replaced with the desire to see Jaemin. Even the desire to speak to Renjun, who has surprisingly crept into his heart as well. The daily phone calls reintroducing him to his inner confidence. Making him feel worth of the pen once more. That his words might be have value.

The calls have become a safe space where he can admit the things he’s buried deep inside. Things he didn’t even know were there. Of course, he’s not told Renjun about Donghyuck, but, how could he? What would he say to that? Jeno doesn’t even know the relationship between the pair, but he suspects something. Things in his world are becoming too coincidental.

Recently, Jaemin has been encouraging him to speak to Donghyuck. Renjun too, without knowing he has been. Donghyuck is the root of Jeno’s writer’s block, and if that’s any kind of motivation to speak to him, then that’s it. Finally he gathers the courage to text the other, though he’s still not brave enough to ring. _“Can you meet me tomorrow at 212st Starbuck’s? 11am?”_

Donghyuck responds 20 minutes later, with an ok emoji. It’s not a spectacular response, but at least he said yes. Jeno sleeps fitfully, wondering how facing his Soulmate again will feel. Especially knowing he has Jaemin now.

*

He picks the comfy seating in the corner of the café. They’ve always been his favourite in the chain, especially the green armchair style seats. Jeno’s already purchased his Americano, and as it’s pretty cold outside today, he’s opted against his usual iced version. Donghyuck is late, but only a few minutes, so Jeno doesn’t panic.

Was Haechan late to camp events? Jeno doesn’t remember, and again, he’s reminded how little he knows of the other. A fairy tale based on air.

When he does arrive, Jeno senses go a little haywire, and he finds himself staring at the man standing in the queue. Donghyuck looks great. His style is relaxed, today he’s wearing a pair of slightly distressed dark blue jeans with an oversized green hoodie with yellow college style writing on. His hair is mussed up slightly, but it looks freshly washed and Jeno is desperate to run his hands through it. Shit. The feelings are as strong as ever. This is so unfair. It makes him think of Jaemin, but then again, it’s different. Jeno allows Jaemin to run his hand through his hair.

Maybe he shouldn’t?

A few minutes later, black coffee in hand, Donghyuck drops into the lavender coloured armchair opposite him. Jeno doesn’t know what to say first. He focuses on his drink, trying to buy himself precious seconds more. In the empty gap, Donghyuck speaks first.

_“Jeno, I’m sorry I didn’t message you first. I feel super shitty, but in all honesty, I didn’t know what to say, and then something happened, and I just couldn’t…god I’m rambling, but please believe me when I say I’m so sorry I did that to you.”_

The pressure on Jeno’s chest releases somewhat. It’s good to hear Donghyuck say these words, but they also make Jeno worry for the man. Something has happened.

 _“You can tell me anything Donghyuck. I am your Soulmate after all?”_ Jeno attempts reassurance smothered by an unfunny joke. Donghyuck cracks a small painful smile at it, but Jeno offers, _“Too soon?”_ Donghyuck nods. _Yes, way too soon,_ Jaemin’s voice in the back of Jeno’s head chips in.

 _“I don’t know how to tell you this Jeno, but I also met my Soulmate_ ,” Donghyuck pauses, and Jeno feels his heart drop out of his chest. What the hell, but before he can say anything, Donghyuck drops another bomb, _“but like you to me, I am not his Soulmate either. How can this be?”_

Things are spiralling out of control, making Jeno even more determined to figure out what the hell is happening.


End file.
